THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Saturday, July 29, 2006
Well whadya know -- Hugo's a sleazeball!
That's one thing, try though he might, that he can't stick in the Yanqui face.
That's one thing, try though he might, that he can't stick in the Yanqui face.
Indeed the biggest SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS are starting to act like politicians. We've said the hell with politicians, and we say the hell with SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS too.
The public MUST throw the Garrulous Ossified Panderers out in 2006 -- so we can get someone else IN in 2008.
The public MUST throw the Garrulous Ossified Panderers out in 2006 -- so we can get someone else IN in 2008.
And in other news of megalomaniacs, it's hard to believe this overexposed AC-tress has been lectured at. You do not lecture at ac-TORS - they lecture at YOU.
We do not understand why his secretary italicized "CEO." On second thought, maybe we do.
We do not understand why his secretary italicized "CEO." On second thought, maybe we do.
Lunkheaded SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGER comment of the day:
These details, I repeat, haven't been independently confirmed and are from this website.
Somebody ought to teach this preening TWXSTER the meaning of SYNERGY.
Here's what got MS. TRAVERS mad:
It contains every anti-Semitic trope imaginable - from the darling of the Christianist right.
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!!!!!! is to the right what FATSO is to the left. And just because an ASS like ANDY S. says it doesn't make it UNTRUE (despite the well-documented "Christianist" rhetorical tantrum gag).
Chances are the bonehead Mel will do community service anyway -- and continue to spout off at Jews, in private, or when drunk.
These details, I repeat, haven't been independently confirmed and are from this website.
Somebody ought to teach this preening TWXSTER the meaning of SYNERGY.
Here's what got MS. TRAVERS mad:
It contains every anti-Semitic trope imaginable - from the darling of the Christianist right.
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!!!!!! is to the right what FATSO is to the left. And just because an ASS like ANDY S. says it doesn't make it UNTRUE (despite the well-documented "Christianist" rhetorical tantrum gag).
Chances are the bonehead Mel will do community service anyway -- and continue to spout off at Jews, in private, or when drunk.
And seeing MS. TRAVERS's name I had to skim through the SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS and found for the most part they're upholding their CW as usual. Hugh, for instance, bombasts in thousands of words that the Seattle shooting was an ACT OF TERRORISM!!!!!!!!!! The problem is the line separating terrorism and hate crimes (I hate that term -- it's straight out of Orwell) is a fine one, and this shootist may have been inspired as much by mental illness as anything else -- though a healthy dose of Islamism helped. Indeed because the man appears to have been a loner (the classic diagnosis for such crimes) does NOT mean the hacks are PC in covering it, although God knows they often are. Perhaps this is terrorism in HUGH's highly refined sense of the term; let's just call it another senseless, evil shooting, and be done with it.
A few post down he fumes about bird flu being ignored. Maybe it's being ignored because it hasn't turned into the pandemic HUGHS SCREAMED it would be. I think I'm better off ignoring these bloviators.
A few post down he fumes about bird flu being ignored. Maybe it's being ignored because it hasn't turned into the pandemic HUGHS SCREAMED it would be. I think I'm better off ignoring these bloviators.
I am not quite at the point of saying anything that gets AMERICA'S No. 1 SOUTH PARK FAN mad makes me happy, but I'm getting there.
P. S. Ms. TRAVERS's friend did 87 in a 45 zone. This savior is lucky he didn't hurt more than his rep.
P. S. Ms. TRAVERS's friend did 87 in a 45 zone. This savior is lucky he didn't hurt more than his rep.
Nawlans is back.
Does the ennui which we deign react to these mass homicide help cause them? It's mere time before these things become daily occurences. A nation that can tolerate so much violence almost begs to be subjugated by the loony Islamists.
Does the ennui which we deign react to these mass homicide help cause them? It's mere time before these things become daily occurences. A nation that can tolerate so much violence almost begs to be subjugated by the loony Islamists.
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My life is f****d....You mother f****r. I'm going to f*** you....F*****g Jews. The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world....Are you a Jew?....What the f*** do you think you're doing?
Oh and by the way:
What do you think you're looking at, sugar tits?
Calling Michael Novak! Calling Ninny Medved! CALLING MONSIGNOR LAPIN!
(Via Da Nooz)
My life is f****d....You mother f****r. I'm going to f*** you....F*****g Jews. The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world....Are you a Jew?....What the f*** do you think you're doing?
Oh and by the way:
What do you think you're looking at, sugar tits?
Calling Michael Novak! Calling Ninny Medved! CALLING MONSIGNOR LAPIN!
(Via Da Nooz)
To their credit, CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES do something RIGHT, for once: they admit in the first five paragraphs the man who opened fire on the Seattle Jewish Federation was -- Muslim. They don't even use dashes.
Friday, July 28, 2006
More posturing from the League of Nations -- and news hacks:
Criticism by the panel brings no penalties beyond international scrutiny.
We wonder what CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES meant by that. That the League should punish us for our sins of incompetence? Talk about the reflection in the mirror. Say, I've got an idea -- why not a world government run by NEWS HACKS! It would smoke out every injustice, and...go broke in two years. We'll go further: if the HACKS had organized the disaster relief last year they'd still be organizing it.
This is the League's "Human Rights Committee," still up to its old tricks.
Criticism by the panel brings no penalties beyond international scrutiny.
We wonder what CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES meant by that. That the League should punish us for our sins of incompetence? Talk about the reflection in the mirror. Say, I've got an idea -- why not a world government run by NEWS HACKS! It would smoke out every injustice, and...go broke in two years. We'll go further: if the HACKS had organized the disaster relief last year they'd still be organizing it.
This is the League's "Human Rights Committee," still up to its old tricks.
Microsoft does not expect to see a return on its upcoming Zune portable media device for several years, according to a top executive at the company.
With a name like Zune it should give up right away.
With a name like Zune it should give up right away.
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!!!!!!! The Second Coming of Christ is DRUNK behind the wheel!
What would MONSIGNOR LAPIN say?
What he'll always say: praise "God" for his "evangelism."
(Via USAOKAY.com On Deadline)
What would MONSIGNOR LAPIN say?
What he'll always say: praise "God" for his "evangelism."
(Via USAOKAY.com On Deadline)
Is this news, and does it require 692 words? We can believe there was a mix-up here; we can further believe even the TWXSTERS would not want to sully a Web site with adware. But the offense caused by a likely unintentional spreading of "inappropriate" downloads is nothing next to the intentional spreading of offense the TWXSTERS and their ilk commit everyday with their "PROPERTIES."
Senate Passes Resolution (Finally) Condemning 2004 Journo Slay
When we saw that "(Finally)" we thought, GREG's up to something. But the man in question was the Forbes editor whose murder the Russians have conspired never to solve. Meantime Belly-Kisser further consolidates his power, and calls up his friends in Teheran, and it's only a matter of time before he declares himself President for Life.
When we saw that "(Finally)" we thought, GREG's up to something. But the man in question was the Forbes editor whose murder the Russians have conspired never to solve. Meantime Belly-Kisser further consolidates his power, and calls up his friends in Teheran, and it's only a matter of time before he declares himself President for Life.
House GOP slates minimum wage vote
1. Is somebody running for office? 2. CON-SER-VA-TISM COLLAPSES!!!!! 3. Will it matter worth a tinker's damn?
1. Is somebody running for office? 2. CON-SER-VA-TISM COLLAPSES!!!!! 3. Will it matter worth a tinker's damn?
I am extremely surprised the Arabs would back their own. Sometimes it seems the whole world is politically correct, and willing to live with tyrants and terrorists.
I am also extremely surprised The Paper of Re-CORD is declaring a Hezbollah victory. But then if the modern news biz had covered the Civil War we'd have twenty countries.
I am also extremely surprised The Paper of Re-CORD is declaring a Hezbollah victory. But then if the modern news biz had covered the Civil War we'd have twenty countries.
Empirical research in economics is notoriously difficult because wages, prices, unemployment rates, product qualities, and all other data of the social sciences are, as Friedrich Hayek said, "complex phenomena." Having so very much constantly going on in the real world, having no laboratory in which reliably to isolate more than a handful of these phenomena at any one time, and unable to read directly the minds of the many persons whose perceptions and choices combine to generate social outcomes, empirical researchers can easily overlook or misread important variables.
This situation distinguishes the social sciences from the physical sciences in two notable ways. First, a higher proportion of empirical research in the social sciences is subject to legitimate -- oftentimes irresolvable -- dispute. Second, as a consequence, in the social sciences theoretical considerations inevitably play a larger role in navigating around these disputes and in forming judgments about desirable public policies.
And so it is with the minimum wage. Almost any empirical study of this government mandate can be challenged for ignoring this variable, for mis-identifying that variable, for focusing on an inappropriate time period, or for countless other possible errors.
Which doesn't prevent DOW 36,000 from ignoring this variable and focusing on that inappropriate time period and saying the minimum wage is BAD.
We're dubious about the minimum wage too. We don't doubt it might cut employment chances for the poor. We don't doubt either among the DOW 36,000 gang there's no minimum to the wages they'd pay.
Hey DOW! Why don't your fairy tales have their own URLs after you click on the home-page links?
This situation distinguishes the social sciences from the physical sciences in two notable ways. First, a higher proportion of empirical research in the social sciences is subject to legitimate -- oftentimes irresolvable -- dispute. Second, as a consequence, in the social sciences theoretical considerations inevitably play a larger role in navigating around these disputes and in forming judgments about desirable public policies.
And so it is with the minimum wage. Almost any empirical study of this government mandate can be challenged for ignoring this variable, for mis-identifying that variable, for focusing on an inappropriate time period, or for countless other possible errors.
Which doesn't prevent DOW 36,000 from ignoring this variable and focusing on that inappropriate time period and saying the minimum wage is BAD.
We're dubious about the minimum wage too. We don't doubt it might cut employment chances for the poor. We don't doubt either among the DOW 36,000 gang there's no minimum to the wages they'd pay.
Hey DOW! Why don't your fairy tales have their own URLs after you click on the home-page links?
Slick's Piano Bar Man (or a staffer or intern thereto) suggests the Middle East parties talk talk talk, because the Piano Bar Man hates war, and besides, he says, Hezbollah's gotten a pretty good rep of late, maybe from lots of his friends who helped screw up the world situation in the first place.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Rosie's Nephew and his truth-dispensing partner are breaking up their production company -- no doubt thanks to all the genius it's unleashed:
Section Eight has been an iffy proposition. While "Ocean’s Eleven" was a hit, "Ocean’s Twelve" is generally unpopular.
There are some real turkeys in the Section Eight catalog, too, that cost plenty and brought in from nothing to very little
They include "Rumor Has It," with Jennifer Aniston; the current "A Scanner Darkly"; "The Jacket," which cost at least $30 million but grossed around $6 million; "Criminal," which took in less than a million bucks and had a feature budget of several million; and of course, "Syriana," which made about what it cost — $50 million — but ultimately lost money.
Yep, that's a lot of excellence.
By the way, isn't Section Eight the name of a public-housing program that turns upscale neighborhoods into slums, or something?
Section Eight has been an iffy proposition. While "Ocean’s Eleven" was a hit, "Ocean’s Twelve" is generally unpopular.
There are some real turkeys in the Section Eight catalog, too, that cost plenty and brought in from nothing to very little
They include "Rumor Has It," with Jennifer Aniston; the current "A Scanner Darkly"; "The Jacket," which cost at least $30 million but grossed around $6 million; "Criminal," which took in less than a million bucks and had a feature budget of several million; and of course, "Syriana," which made about what it cost — $50 million — but ultimately lost money.
Yep, that's a lot of excellence.
By the way, isn't Section Eight the name of a public-housing program that turns upscale neighborhoods into slums, or something?
I don't know that I'd get that excited about new "freedoms" in the Chinese press, Econowiz. This might merely be the kind of pressure-valve approach the Soviets used -- let the public vent about wrongs in government, so long as they don't vent against the GOVERNMENT.
We've no doubt Larry, Sergey and MR. WARNER BROS. would approve of that.
We've no doubt Larry, Sergey and MR. WARNER BROS. would approve of that.
Cindy buys some land near GEORGE's ranch to be even more of a teller of TRUTH.
"We decided to buy property in Crawford to use until George's resignation or impeachment, which we all hope is soon for the sake of the world," Sheehan said in a newsletter set to be sent to supporters Thursday. [Emphasis added]
CURLEY!!!!! SUPPORTS CINDY'S SOLDIERS!
P. S. Hey Cindy! When do we start telling the truth about the evil ISRAELIS?
"We decided to buy property in Crawford to use until George's resignation or impeachment, which we all hope is soon for the sake of the world," Sheehan said in a newsletter set to be sent to supporters Thursday. [Emphasis added]
CURLEY!!!!! SUPPORTS CINDY'S SOLDIERS!
P. S. Hey Cindy! When do we start telling the truth about the evil ISRAELIS?
Made in the USA
Failed U.S. policies caused the mess in Lebanon.
Daniel Benjamin served on the National Security Council staff from 1994 to 1999. He is co-author of The Next Attack: The Failure of the War on Terror and a Strategy for Getting It Right," which is being published in paperback in July 2006.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Failed U.S. policies caused the mess in Lebanon.
Daniel Benjamin served on the National Security Council staff from 1994 to 1999. He is co-author of The Next Attack: The Failure of the War on Terror and a Strategy for Getting It Right," which is being published in paperback in July 2006.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
Landis Suspended From Cycling
Team announces Tour de France champion has tested positive for "unusual" level of testosterone.
Can't anyone here win this game CLEAN?
Team announces Tour de France champion has tested positive for "unusual" level of testosterone.
Can't anyone here win this game CLEAN?
GREG'S EXCITED AGAIN:
Troop Morale in Iraq? "It SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!," Reporter Discovers!!!!!!!!!!
All RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!!!!!
Troop Morale in Iraq? "It SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!," Reporter Discovers!!!!!!!!!!
All RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
We're surprised the hacks aren't excited as Sir Charles may run for Alabama's governor as a DEMOCRAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But we suspect he'd have no more luck in a solid red state than Lynn Swann will have against The Groper.
``Snakes on a Plane," the movie for which the title carries the entire ``weight" of the ``plot," is fast becoming the summer release you needn't bother seeing. The Internet has spent months lampooning the upcoming Samuel L. Jackson thriller, and I've seen not only the trailer (``Enough is enough! I've had it with these snakes!"), parodies of the trailer, minimovies cut from the trailer, the music video, and also a hilarious parody of the music video.
The movie biz has no future. We smile.
The movie biz has no future. We smile.
DOW 36,000 reaches new heights in CLOUD-CUCKOOLAND:
Instead of vilifying the gambling industry, then, it seems a more productive use of our resources would be to look into the reasons so many people find their lives so hopeless and unfulfilling that they feel their only option is to gamble them away. How should we fund our investigation, you ask? Well, taxes from legalized online gambling may put a few extra dollars in the government coffers. Just a thought.
I thought we were against big government? Anyway, there's an easier solution: get DOW 36,000 to sit and THINK.
Instead of vilifying the gambling industry, then, it seems a more productive use of our resources would be to look into the reasons so many people find their lives so hopeless and unfulfilling that they feel their only option is to gamble them away. How should we fund our investigation, you ask? Well, taxes from legalized online gambling may put a few extra dollars in the government coffers. Just a thought.
I thought we were against big government? Anyway, there's an easier solution: get DOW 36,000 to sit and THINK.
Ahmadinejad and Putin Discuss Conflict in Lebanon
I think we should dust off that axis-of-evil rhetoric.
I think we should dust off that axis-of-evil rhetoric.
Another BRILLIANT idea from WALL STREET:
Analyst Urges Redstone to Take Viacom Private
1. How would even THE LORD GOD SUMNER raise the money? 2. In a sense, SUMNER's playthings are ALREADY private.
Analyst Urges Redstone to Take Viacom Private
1. How would even THE LORD GOD SUMNER raise the money? 2. In a sense, SUMNER's playthings are ALREADY private.
PEOPLE WARNER FOLDS A CELEBRITY RAG?!?!? THAT LOST MONEY?!?!?!?!?
MediaBistro says the biz has too many rags. And who started them all?
MediaBistro says the biz has too many rags. And who started them all?
Nobel Peace Laureate Betty Williams displayed what the Australian media called "her feisty Irish spirit" to hundreds of schoolchildren this week in a murder-minded diatribe against President Bush....
While the kids cheered, Williams, the world-renowned pacifist, fumed: "Right now, I would love to kill George Bush."
---------------------------------------------------
For the record, our sister publication "The Australian" led its story as follows: "Nobel peace laureate Betty Williams displayed a flash of her feisty Irish spirit."
RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are you running for something?
While the kids cheered, Williams, the world-renowned pacifist, fumed: "Right now, I would love to kill George Bush."
---------------------------------------------------
For the record, our sister publication "The Australian" led its story as follows: "Nobel peace laureate Betty Williams displayed a flash of her feisty Irish spirit."
RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Are you running for something?
More GREAT news from the ASSociated Press:
ISRAELI TROOPS SUFFER HEAVY CASUALTIES!!!!!!!!!!
Now we KNOW this is a hope. Every time we run into a CURLEY (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) story on the conflict on Yahoo! it seems to be written by an Arab. Sorry CURLEY (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!), we suspect they're reporting from the front lines literally AND figuratively.
ISRAELI TROOPS SUFFER HEAVY CASUALTIES!!!!!!!!!!
Now we KNOW this is a hope. Every time we run into a CURLEY (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) story on the conflict on Yahoo! it seems to be written by an Arab. Sorry CURLEY (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!), we suspect they're reporting from the front lines literally AND figuratively.
A pretty face on a Chicago video police blotter throws a mammoth tantrum because THE PRESS is snooping into her LAWSUIT about her and her hubby's $3 MILLION HOUSE.
People in shoddily-rebuilt houses shouldn't throw the cornices falling off, or whatever.
Sorry to keep citing the Post, but:
ISRAEL SUFFERS HEAVY CASUALTIES IN BATTLE!!!!!
In fairness to that rag (fairness?!?), we note this appears only on the home page; but still, we wonder again (as we always must with news hacks) if this is the expression of a hope. Another POST!!!!!!!!!!! informs us the Israelis killed 150 Hezbollah soldiers, and yet we doubt anywhere anyone would describe those casualties as "HEAVY!!!!!!!!!", though their numbers must at least be proportional.
ISRAEL SUFFERS HEAVY CASUALTIES IN BATTLE!!!!!
In fairness to that rag (fairness?!?), we note this appears only on the home page; but still, we wonder again (as we always must with news hacks) if this is the expression of a hope. Another POST!!!!!!!!!!! informs us the Israelis killed 150 Hezbollah soldiers, and yet we doubt anywhere anyone would describe those casualties as "HEAVY!!!!!!!!!", though their numbers must at least be proportional.
Attorney General Who? is the sort of fella Dubya would have appointed to every cabinet post -- nice guy, loves his family, doesn't rock the boat, doesn't think either; in short, a thoroughgoing cipher -- except those evil con-SER-va-tives wouldn't have liked it.
Come to think of it, Who? is merely Dubya writ small -- or should we say, smaller.
Come to think of it, Who? is merely Dubya writ small -- or should we say, smaller.
Woodster the Perv is SAD. We don't know why. He buggers his adopted-daughter wife ("the best thing that ever happened to his romantic life," we can believe that); he still gets to play the romantic lead opposite sexy babes; he is a god in Midtown Manhattan; he still makes movies hardly anyone sees. We don't know why the Woodster should be sad. We don't know why the WAPOST should waste 2,726 WORDS and our time pitying him either.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Call It Shyamaladenfreude
Call if fake. We don't know WHY the Mogul's Friend, who has spent years selling no-talents and overrating low ones -- any puff pieces about this guy in your past, Friend? -- gets in this surpassing fit of high dudgeon and yells, "NIGHT'S UNYIELDING CERTAINTY HAS RESULTED IN SOMETHING CREEPIER THAN ANY OF HIS MOVIES: A STRANGELY UNSYMPATHETIC CHARACTER WHO BEARS AN UNCANNY RESEMBLANCE TO HIMSELF." Honest Friend, when was the last time we LIKED someone in Hollywood? Especially any friend of YOURS?
Call if fake. We don't know WHY the Mogul's Friend, who has spent years selling no-talents and overrating low ones -- any puff pieces about this guy in your past, Friend? -- gets in this surpassing fit of high dudgeon and yells, "NIGHT'S UNYIELDING CERTAINTY HAS RESULTED IN SOMETHING CREEPIER THAN ANY OF HIS MOVIES: A STRANGELY UNSYMPATHETIC CHARACTER WHO BEARS AN UNCANNY RESEMBLANCE TO HIMSELF." Honest Friend, when was the last time we LIKED someone in Hollywood? Especially any friend of YOURS?
Teen charged in highway sniper case
Here's betting if this scum's been asked why he did it, his answer was 1. Duhhhhhhhh, Idunno, or 2. Duhhhhhhhhh, I thought I'd have some fun.
Here's betting if this scum's been asked why he did it, his answer was 1. Duhhhhhhhh, Idunno, or 2. Duhhhhhhhhh, I thought I'd have some fun.
DR. EVIL has at least as many lives as an alleyful of mangy cats.
And I like cats.
The cable industry has been airing consumer-education campaigns since 2004, but Stevens and Inouye made it clear that those didn't allay all their fears, said Rob Stoddard, senior vice president for communications and public affairs for the National Cable & Telecommunications Association, the major trade group of the cable industry.
"They were very clearly looking for us to do something," Stoddard said. "This issue [indecency] is simply not going to dry up and go away."
Not so long as you air indecent programming.
And I like cats.
The cable industry has been airing consumer-education campaigns since 2004, but Stevens and Inouye made it clear that those didn't allay all their fears, said Rob Stoddard, senior vice president for communications and public affairs for the National Cable & Telecommunications Association, the major trade group of the cable industry.
"They were very clearly looking for us to do something," Stoddard said. "This issue [indecency] is simply not going to dry up and go away."
Not so long as you air indecent programming.
Extending President Bush's first-term tax cuts would increase economic growth over the long run, but the lower rates must be offset by reduced spending to have the most impact, according to a Treasury Department study released Tuesday.
Pffh-hh-hh hh hh hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
Pffh-hh-hh hh hh hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
DOW 36,000's crew daydreams again:
Take the issue of childhood obesity. Familiar voices of outrage are lining up behind command-and-control measures to stop the "epidemic." Beltway crusaders have mobilized against everything from Big Soda in the schools to video games. These two enemies figure well into a rather porcine narrative: capitalist pigs create legions of materialistic pigs for mutual gain: Companies gain wealth. Kids gain weight. Public health gains problems. Or so the story goes.
But while regulators think of ways to control our lives, the market will respond in a manner that will allow us to change our lives ourselves.
Just one problem, DOW: we wouldn't being having this obesity problem if THE MARKET didn't help cause it.
That's the thing about GLIBERTARIANS: their middle name is DENIAL.
Take the issue of childhood obesity. Familiar voices of outrage are lining up behind command-and-control measures to stop the "epidemic." Beltway crusaders have mobilized against everything from Big Soda in the schools to video games. These two enemies figure well into a rather porcine narrative: capitalist pigs create legions of materialistic pigs for mutual gain: Companies gain wealth. Kids gain weight. Public health gains problems. Or so the story goes.
But while regulators think of ways to control our lives, the market will respond in a manner that will allow us to change our lives ourselves.
Just one problem, DOW: we wouldn't being having this obesity problem if THE MARKET didn't help cause it.
That's the thing about GLIBERTARIANS: their middle name is DENIAL.
At Conference, Editors Told to Focus on Under-18 Readers
This inevitably means special sections dumbed down for the young on the assumption they can't read.
With children wanting to be walking wired automatons when would they have time for newspapers?
This inevitably means special sections dumbed down for the young on the assumption they can't read.
With children wanting to be walking wired automatons when would they have time for newspapers?
Three high-ranking Senate Democrats on Tuesday called on Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki to explain his recent comments condemning Israel's "aggression" against Lebanon.
KOS getting under your skin?
KOS getting under your skin?
The ULTRA-GET-A-LIFE! who had twenty minutes of fame on the SUPERGEEKS' favorite game show with the exclamation point thinks he deserves another ten minutes.
Take the money, Mr. ULTRA-GET-A-LIFE!, and SHUT UP.
A special thanks to USAOKAY.COM!!!!! for making this second from the top in "Latest Headlines", above the heat wave in California! That's NEWS!
Take the money, Mr. ULTRA-GET-A-LIFE!, and SHUT UP.
A special thanks to USAOKAY.COM!!!!! for making this second from the top in "Latest Headlines", above the heat wave in California! That's NEWS!
The Israeli military claims it has killed the senior Hezbollah commander in charge of the central area of Lebanon's border with Israel. No word from Hezbollah. [CNN hed]
Hmmm, you don't think maybe the side many liberals and news hacks are rooting against might be winning, do you? NAHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Hmmm, you don't think maybe the side many liberals and news hacks are rooting against might be winning, do you? NAHHHHHHHHHHHH.
BREAKING NEWS from the world of throwing money into the Hollywood cesspool, aka ADVERTISING:
The commercial ratings data "still doesn't tell the entire story," says Andrew Jung, head of Kellogg's advertising and media. More detailed information, he thinks, might show that advertisers pay for absent eyeballs.
You're not paying for AIR TIME, Andy, you're paying to SCHMOOZE! Of which we've no doubt YOU do a lot -- on OUR money.
The commercial ratings data "still doesn't tell the entire story," says Andrew Jung, head of Kellogg's advertising and media. More detailed information, he thinks, might show that advertisers pay for absent eyeballs.
You're not paying for AIR TIME, Andy, you're paying to SCHMOOZE! Of which we've no doubt YOU do a lot -- on OUR money.
We'll admit we agree with Daniel Schorr that the lack of editors in blogging is a problem, but he should remember the press couldn't have had twenty-five BRILLIANT years WITHOUT editors -- like Howell Raines, for instance.
(Via the usual ROMY)
(Via the usual ROMY)
GENERALETTE SPEAKS:
"It is time for a new Middle East."
Bombing the old one off the planet should be sufficient.
"It is time for a new Middle East."
Bombing the old one off the planet should be sufficient.
People would rather scream and cry and plant candles and flowers and Winnie-the-Pooh bears than do anything to prevent our inner-city carnage.
``Whoever did this should rot in hell."
But remember --
NO SNITCHIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
``Whoever did this should rot in hell."
But remember --
NO SNITCHIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, July 24, 2006
Prime Minister Fuad Saniora told Rice that Israel's bombardment was taking his country “backwards 50 years”....
That's nothing. Islamists want to take the world backwards 1200 years.
That's nothing. Islamists want to take the world backwards 1200 years.
SAMMY GLICKMAN, you're in BIG TROUBLE!
[H]ow bad can "Miami Vice" be? The Michael Mann movie opens Friday, but the only advance quote Universal could find for its ads came from an obscure movie blog, aka fan page. Even the regular quote-pluggers must have been unavailable for this one. How creepy and sad. Where was the Hollywood Foreign Press on this one? Isn’t this what they’re for?
Nyuk nyuk nyuk!
[H]ow bad can "Miami Vice" be? The Michael Mann movie opens Friday, but the only advance quote Universal could find for its ads came from an obscure movie blog, aka fan page. Even the regular quote-pluggers must have been unavailable for this one. How creepy and sad. Where was the Hollywood Foreign Press on this one? Isn’t this what they’re for?
Nyuk nyuk nyuk!
If (as this PR effusion alleges) curves are coming back, why do so many of the most successful models and AC-tresses have stick figures?
Meet the new Miss Universe
The most beautiful woman in the world wants to be a movie star. (Yahoo! home-page blurb)
Really? I thought she just won a beauty pageant.
No, I'm not being picky, but REALLY, Mr. Warner Bros., you gotta teach your interns how to write.
The most beautiful woman in the world wants to be a movie star. (Yahoo! home-page blurb)
Really? I thought she just won a beauty pageant.
No, I'm not being picky, but REALLY, Mr. Warner Bros., you gotta teach your interns how to write.
What is the point of GENERALETTE stopping in Beirut other than to show off?
It is said she is on a whirlwind tour to rustle up peace and "reassure our allies," but I couldn't help that first response as secretaries of state have a history of whirlwind tours, and at times Foggy Bottom seems the root of all evil.
It is said she is on a whirlwind tour to rustle up peace and "reassure our allies," but I couldn't help that first response as secretaries of state have a history of whirlwind tours, and at times Foggy Bottom seems the root of all evil.
And in more news of the real world that folks like the GET-A-LIFES! make ever more intolerable, another senseless shooting, in Kansas City. Once upon a time people would have been horrified. Now, thanks to a culture ruled by the GET-A-LIFES!, we laugh.
The LaLaTimes becomes a little sniffy as the great GET-A-LIFE! Hollywood audition ends.
I guess we're supposed to be impressed that 2 million attended. We can think of other once-powerful organizations that attracted huge crowds: the Know-Nothings, the Klan, the Socialists, the Prohibitionists. All went into history's dust bin. The GET-A-LIFE! Society will not join them soon, but its mob ignorance and general irrelevance guarantee it will in time.
And while we're at it, here's another reason the newspapers are headed down that path too: once a Mencken or a Royko would have seared the GET-A-LIFES! memorably. Now we slog through press releases. You can't go broke too soon, TRIBCO.
P. S. OKAY!!!!! says "'the market is oversaturated with horror,'" and sci-fi flicks are turning gloomy. The good news is they "'give you the chance to comment on the times you're living in,'" meaning with luck that JJJJJAAAAAHHHHHNNNNN-RUH will produce several dozen hugely successful INCONVENIENT TRUTHS.
I guess we're supposed to be impressed that 2 million attended. We can think of other once-powerful organizations that attracted huge crowds: the Know-Nothings, the Klan, the Socialists, the Prohibitionists. All went into history's dust bin. The GET-A-LIFE! Society will not join them soon, but its mob ignorance and general irrelevance guarantee it will in time.
And while we're at it, here's another reason the newspapers are headed down that path too: once a Mencken or a Royko would have seared the GET-A-LIFES! memorably. Now we slog through press releases. You can't go broke too soon, TRIBCO.
P. S. OKAY!!!!! says "'the market is oversaturated with horror,'" and sci-fi flicks are turning gloomy. The good news is they "'give you the chance to comment on the times you're living in,'" meaning with luck that JJJJJAAAAAHHHHHNNNNN-RUH will produce several dozen hugely successful INCONVENIENT TRUTHS.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Cle-VER:
Togo says halves HIV/AIDS rate
...The cabinet statement did not say whether the drop was due to mortality among AIDS patients....
Pardon us, but we're not sure we like black humor where such diseases are concerned.
Togo says halves HIV/AIDS rate
...The cabinet statement did not say whether the drop was due to mortality among AIDS patients....
Pardon us, but we're not sure we like black humor where such diseases are concerned.
MORE STIRRING "REPORTING" FROM NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:
SEN. CHRIS DODD: AMERICANS 'NAUSEATED' BY BUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dodd also said people are "nauseated" by the country's polarization under President Bush. (Fifth graf)
Or as our friend the late SUPER-HERO of NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! would say, thanks for the unbiased reporting!
SEN. CHRIS DODD: AMERICANS 'NAUSEATED' BY BUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dodd also said people are "nauseated" by the country's polarization under President Bush. (Fifth graf)
Or as our friend the late SUPER-HERO of NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! would say, thanks for the unbiased reporting!
"Our entry into the war, under the slogan of 'Stop Hitler!' would actually result in the immediate introduction of totalitarianism over here. . . . The American masses can best help [the German people] by fighting at home to keep their own liberties."
No, professor, some people will never learn.
That petition was signed by "V.F. Calverton, James T. Farrell, Clement Greenberg, Dwight Macdonald, Kenneth Patchen, Philip Rahv, Kenneth Rexroth, Delmore Schwartz [and] William Carlos Williams" -- brilliant thinkers all.
No, professor, some people will never learn.
That petition was signed by "V.F. Calverton, James T. Farrell, Clement Greenberg, Dwight Macdonald, Kenneth Patchen, Philip Rahv, Kenneth Rexroth, Delmore Schwartz [and] William Carlos Williams" -- brilliant thinkers all.
The NEW! IMPROVED!! StinkyInky's TV ad-blurbist says TV IS NOW TOO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The critics gathered here for the Television Critics Association annual summer press tour have found rare consensus: The TV mug this fall will be filled to overflowing with sweet shows!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Even though I'm not sure there's a really great show, this is by far the best year cumulatively in my memory!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" says Tom Jicha, TV critic for the South Florida Sun-Sentinel. Among the 125 or so critics at the press tour, Jicha is an elephant, attending his 25th.... [From watching so much TV he should be.]
Do not mistake the critics for a monolith....
I don't see no monolith.
The critics gathered here for the Television Critics Association annual summer press tour have found rare consensus: The TV mug this fall will be filled to overflowing with sweet shows!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Even though I'm not sure there's a really great show, this is by far the best year cumulatively in my memory!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" says Tom Jicha, TV critic for the South Florida Sun-Sentinel. Among the 125 or so critics at the press tour, Jicha is an elephant, attending his 25th.... [From watching so much TV he should be.]
Do not mistake the critics for a monolith....
I don't see no monolith.
NY TIMES' ABOUT BUY REDEEMED
We think we know why Peter wrote this puff piece about the SLIMES!!!!!!!!!!' Internet piece of junk -- to make RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'S look good.
We think we know why Peter wrote this puff piece about the SLIMES!!!!!!!!!!' Internet piece of junk -- to make RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'S look good.
"He has done a lot of good things here, from irrigation networks to schools to hospitals and a dam for fish," said Som Chan.
And Hitler built the Autobahn.
And Hitler built the Autobahn.
Meantime the TWXSTERS chime in on the CRISIS, and offer these six solutions:
1. Get the U.S. Involved
2. Don't Forget The Palestinians
3. Guarantee Israel's security
4. Stabilize Lebanon
5. Handle Iran
6. PRAY FOR IRAQ [SIC!!!!!]
Seeing as how they offer prayer as a solution we might wonder if peace is possible.
1. Get the U.S. Involved
2. Don't Forget The Palestinians
3. Guarantee Israel's security
4. Stabilize Lebanon
5. Handle Iran
6. PRAY FOR IRAQ [SIC!!!!!]
Seeing as how they offer prayer as a solution we might wonder if peace is possible.
Well here we are in the middle of a WORLD CRISIS, and Mr. Mark finds time to try to turn Ub Iger into the all-time hero MICKEYMOUSE NIXON, and plug another eternal talent in the entertainment biz! Way to go, Mr. Mark! Once again you prove you're smarter than the SOBs who read your rag!
Yes, Markie, that story might be seven pages, but you know and I know what the coffee tables read.
Yes, Markie, that story might be seven pages, but you know and I know what the coffee tables read.