THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
Blogroll Me!
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Saturday, June 02, 2007
Mourning in PINCHDOM: Porno video sales have declined, presumably because leaders of the enlightenment like PINCH view it as acceptable.
Of course it could be that the boredom factor kicks in quickly with porn. It could be the business has run out of orifices. It could be somebody's making those sales figures up (didn't the late Frank Rich say something about a $50 billion business, or something?) It could be this topic is now so tied up with media vanity and the need to always spin our rep that we can NEVER get an HONEST judgment on it in the first place.
Of course it could be that the boredom factor kicks in quickly with porn. It could be the business has run out of orifices. It could be somebody's making those sales figures up (didn't the late Frank Rich say something about a $50 billion business, or something?) It could be this topic is now so tied up with media vanity and the need to always spin our rep that we can NEVER get an HONEST judgment on it in the first place.
The Senior Clunker Brother got SUMNER to make it a two-hour ad, and neither the ad-blurbists nor the movie S&M phreaks will notice.
Oh, and while we're thinking, a nice reminder for one of Little Malcolm's best friends:
GO TO HELL, ANDREW TEUFEL!
Oh, and while we're thinking, a nice reminder for one of Little Malcolm's best friends:
GO TO HELL, ANDREW TEUFEL!
QED: This typist says how wonderful GE BANCORP NETWORK used to be, when it put on CRITICALLY-ACCLAIMED programming that drew an audience (i.e., when it put what we wanted it to on the air), and as if to prove it, and to prove favorites like Brandon Tartikoff were immortal, and to prove our tremendous power to move and shake the culture, he clatters:
Tartikoff's success was the primary reason GE bought NBC in the mid-'80s.
It seems to us that LEGENDARY WELCH acquired a few other things besides when He "bought NBC", but then only hacks like Scott would consider being number four a "TRAGEDY", but then there's no contradicting these hacks on anything; after all, they live in their own unshakable Ptolemaic theory.
Tartikoff's success was the primary reason GE bought NBC in the mid-'80s.
It seems to us that LEGENDARY WELCH acquired a few other things besides when He "bought NBC", but then only hacks like Scott would consider being number four a "TRAGEDY", but then there's no contradicting these hacks on anything; after all, they live in their own unshakable Ptolemaic theory.
Friday, June 01, 2007
And given the ease with which hoaxsters can perpetrate mediagenic scams why should we sit vacant-eyed before a television?
Which raises the question: how utterly dependent have news organizations become on the ASSPress and al Reut for their reporting? How much of what makes the news ultimately has its root in wire-service copy? How are we served by three or four outfits reporting our news? One must ask as the Web becomes our sole source for news -- and as the wire services become the sole source for the Web.
And localism as a defense is a fraud because relatively few care for local news, and as so much of it is disseminated by 800-pound gorillas anyway.
And localism as a defense is a fraud because relatively few care for local news, and as so much of it is disseminated by 800-pound gorillas anyway.
So long as news hacks remain ultra-credulous, we'll get the worst kind of show-biz press releases -- and the reams of breathless copy for this stunt surely qualify.
Don't these idiot scribblers have ANY sense of self-control?
475 links on Google News. To be sure, many are duplicates, but this shows what can happen when PAUL DRECK takes charge of your PR campaign. IMBECILES.
Don't these idiot scribblers have ANY sense of self-control?
475 links on Google News. To be sure, many are duplicates, but this shows what can happen when PAUL DRECK takes charge of your PR campaign. IMBECILES.
The American Petroleum Institute has hit the airwaves to beat back calls on Capitol Hill to create a windfall profits tax or make price-gouging a federal crime, airing radio ads in “most major media markets” during this week’s congressional recess to remind consumers about the negative impact Congress had when it tried to temper gas prices in the 1970s.
Has anyone at this K Street warren ever heard of "reverse psychology"?
Has anyone at this K Street warren ever heard of "reverse psychology"?
Hed of the day:
'Flip This House' star accused of fraud
Leccima says he never claimed to own the homes. While not acknowledging his televised renovations were staged, he didn't deny it and suggested that A&E and Departure Films, the production company that makes the show, knew exactly what he was doing.
I suspect he has a solid defense there.
'Flip This House' star accused of fraud
Leccima says he never claimed to own the homes. While not acknowledging his televised renovations were staged, he didn't deny it and suggested that A&E and Departure Films, the production company that makes the show, knew exactly what he was doing.
I suspect he has a solid defense there.
More scintillating typing from the ASSPress:
Poll: a Fifth Vacationed With Laptops
That's a vacation?
Don't get sand in your keyboard! (Or better still, do, then you may not bring your laptop along the next time!)
Poll: a Fifth Vacationed With Laptops
That's a vacation?
Don't get sand in your keyboard! (Or better still, do, then you may not bring your laptop along the next time!)
Then again, how many errors can YOU spot in this graf from Mike's tribute to the late lamented Charles Nelson Reilly?
In 1962, when Morse was cast as the lead in "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying," he told the producers they should audition Reilly for the role of Rudy Valli's spoiled nephew, Bud Frump.
First off, it was most likely 1961 (that's when the show opened), and second it was Rudy VALLEE, not "Biiiiig girrrrrls do-on't CRY-YI-YI."
Let's hope SLIME brings this high level of jernalistic eksellence to the JOURNALS! Who knows? What with WALTS He might improve it!
In 1962, when Morse was cast as the lead in "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying," he told the producers they should audition Reilly for the role of Rudy Valli's spoiled nephew, Bud Frump.
First off, it was most likely 1961 (that's when the show opened), and second it was Rudy VALLEE, not "Biiiiig girrrrrls do-on't CRY-YI-YI."
Let's hope SLIME brings this high level of jernalistic eksellence to the JOURNALS! Who knows? What with WALTS He might improve it!
And speaking of the ASSPress paying too much attention to trivia:
Paris Hilton's Jail Time Countdown Is On
Paris Hilton's Jail Time Countdown Is On
Woods, also battling strep throat, was asked what the impact might be of the withdrawals of Mickelson and Johnson.
"You've got two marquee players, the Masters champion and, obviously, Phil being the second-best player in the world," Woods said. "It's too bad for the tournament."
Multiply this by 100 million and you get an idea of how many stupid questions news hacks ask every day.
"You've got two marquee players, the Masters champion and, obviously, Phil being the second-best player in the world," Woods said. "It's too bad for the tournament."
Multiply this by 100 million and you get an idea of how many stupid questions news hacks ask every day.
Excellent news for jihad:
Reliance on foreign gasoline is growing
That's gasoline. It's not just crude oil anymore.
Reliance on foreign gasoline is growing
That's gasoline. It's not just crude oil anymore.
Dubya's profile in courage on immigration has cost his party in the pocketbook! (So says a Republican mouthpiece, anyway.)
But why did it take the grass roots so long to figure Dubya wasn't their kind of president?
But why did it take the grass roots so long to figure Dubya wasn't their kind of president?
And in another link from the sometimes annoying ArtsJournal.com, 300,000 sounds like a lot of books -- but why do I think once you factor in things like reissues and multiple issues and picture books and the greedy textbook biz and vanity titles and all sorts of other legerdemain that the actual number of new commercial titles is far smaller -- and that it's still tougher to get published than ever?
Extremely clever: a typist uses deep sociological thinking as ANOTHER excuse to get big-ugly face time for PAUL DRECK!
"One means of reducing the discomfort created by the perception that we have no power or influence on the world around us," says Douglas Raybeck, a cultural anthropologist at Hamilton College in Clinton, New York, is to retreat from it into trivia. "We display an increasing ability to take the trivial very seriously, in no small part because the trivial is understandable and nonthreatening."
Or maybe a lot of people have a genuine interest in trivia because it's trivia -- or maybe a lot of people are stupid -- or maybe news hacks spend way too much time in reporting trivia because it allows them to quote 500 million times from PAUL DRECK!
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD to GLORIA!
P. S. One other very good reason for trivia: ultrahacks like MARTY writing 2,649 WORDS OF B.O. on B.O.!
"One means of reducing the discomfort created by the perception that we have no power or influence on the world around us," says Douglas Raybeck, a cultural anthropologist at Hamilton College in Clinton, New York, is to retreat from it into trivia. "We display an increasing ability to take the trivial very seriously, in no small part because the trivial is understandable and nonthreatening."
Or maybe a lot of people have a genuine interest in trivia because it's trivia -- or maybe a lot of people are stupid -- or maybe news hacks spend way too much time in reporting trivia because it allows them to quote 500 million times from PAUL DRECK!
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD to GLORIA!
P. S. One other very good reason for trivia: ultrahacks like MARTY writing 2,649 WORDS OF B.O. on B.O.!
As we predicted (and as we know we'd predicted if the @#$%&* Dalai Lamas of Mountain View would permit me to search past blog entries), using some nefarious number crunching involving DVRs Nielsen was able to say that ratings for commercials are higher than ratings for the surrounding programs (however slightly), which potentially means ever MORE money wasted on crappy critically-acclaimed television.
There is better news, however:
"About half" the viewers watching in playback mode "are skipping through the [commercial] spots," according to Pat McDonough, svp-planning policy and analysis at Nielsen.
Which STILL means ever MORE money wasted on crappy critically-acclaimed television.
P. S.
DVR VIEWERS PUSH AD RATINGS UP!!!!! [USAOKAY!!!!! good-news overemphasis added]
Guess which high-powered newspaper chain owns -- oh, I mustn't tell.
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO LAURA AND THERESA!
There is better news, however:
"About half" the viewers watching in playback mode "are skipping through the [commercial] spots," according to Pat McDonough, svp-planning policy and analysis at Nielsen.
Which STILL means ever MORE money wasted on crappy critically-acclaimed television.
P. S.
DVR VIEWERS PUSH AD RATINGS UP!!!!! [USAOKAY!!!!! good-news overemphasis added]
Guess which high-powered newspaper chain owns -- oh, I mustn't tell.
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO LAURA AND THERESA!
TB patient: 'I hope they forgive me'
It's rather like asking forgiveness for suggesting a game of Russian roulette, but we'll take it under advisement.
It's rather like asking forgiveness for suggesting a game of Russian roulette, but we'll take it under advisement.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE BANCROFTS CAPITULATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE FORCE OF REACTION WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, the oh-shut-and-up brigade will be in full force today.
Yes, the oh-shut-and-up brigade will be in full force today.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Cargill, Coca-Cola to develop new sweetener
Translation: 1. Another one with an aftertaste, and 2. Now ethanol's pushing Coke out of the market?!?
Translation: 1. Another one with an aftertaste, and 2. Now ethanol's pushing Coke out of the market?!?
A once famous person shakes off oblivion to make a suggestion:
Former longtime "Tonight Show" sidekick Ed McMahon is urging people to donate DVDs for U.S. troops in Iraq, saying movies offer a safe and comforting escape from wartime realities.
Does this guy use Netflix?
Former longtime "Tonight Show" sidekick Ed McMahon is urging people to donate DVDs for U.S. troops in Iraq, saying movies offer a safe and comforting escape from wartime realities.
Does this guy use Netflix?
In further news on the immortality of GEEKS:
Dell to eliminate 8,800 jobs
Natch the stock did a KUDLOW (i.e., it went way up after hours).
P. S. How many job cuts in India?
Dell to eliminate 8,800 jobs
Natch the stock did a KUDLOW (i.e., it went way up after hours).
P. S. How many job cuts in India?
THE S&P 500 IS UNDERVALUED BY 45 PERCENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wonder -- what was the September, 1929 equivalent?
I wonder -- what was the September, 1929 equivalent?
"Everything the fictitious Springfield is, we're not. We're a clean, close-knit community. There's no pollution, no waste dumps, nobody misbehaving all the time. And we don't want to be made a parody of," Tilberg said.
"And, besides, I don't think taxpayers are interested in us using the time or resources to put this together," he said. "We wouldn't even be promoting our community. We'd be promoting 20th Century Fox's movie."
Not every pol is cheaply opportunistic -- or stupid.
(Via ShowBizData)
"And, besides, I don't think taxpayers are interested in us using the time or resources to put this together," he said. "We wouldn't even be promoting our community. We'd be promoting 20th Century Fox's movie."
Not every pol is cheaply opportunistic -- or stupid.
(Via ShowBizData)
We hereby challenge the Journal’s editors to debate the immigration bill in a neutral venue with a moderator of their choosing — two or three of us versus any two or three of them.
Sure you don't mean "four-or-six"?
Sure you don't mean "four-or-six"?
The Movement is not impressed with Sen. Law-and-Order:
"The book on him is he's lazy...."
So was Ronald Reagan. Pfffffffffffffffft!
(Via Spectator.org)
"The book on him is he's lazy...."
So was Ronald Reagan. Pfffffffffffffffft!
(Via Spectator.org)
A former financial aid director at Johns Hopkins University who cultivated a national reputation as a stickler for ethics accepted more than $130,000 from eight lending industry companies during her tenure, twice as much money as previously disclosed, according to documents and interviews.
And we wonder why the word "ethics" has such a smell?
"This is no longer the fun and games we have come to know and love."
Isn't that what HYER LERNING is about?
And we wonder why the word "ethics" has such a smell?
"This is no longer the fun and games we have come to know and love."
Isn't that what HYER LERNING is about?
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Slashdotters are no doubt guffawing because people like them who eat, sleep, and onanize sci-fi all day but somehow manage to type tons of bad prose besides have putatively given a mighty thumbs down to an alleged MySpace of "fanfic". Of course (judging from this) the site had to be launched with two left feet and twenty-five big toes, but there's a simple reason for that: SUMNER HELPED LAUNCH IT.
P. S. Yes, yes, something called "Showtime" and something else called "Simon and Schuster" helped launch it -- but people forget SUMNER has relinquished virtually no control over both His VIACONS since He split them up. Anything done by a SUMNER-controlled operation, we strongly suggest, HE does, and no matter what the company that did it might be called, this farce has SUMNER -- written all over it.
P. P. S. Evidently Slashdotters don't read as someone posted a Yahoo! logo with the summary. Yes, a couple of former Yahoo! executives did the organizing -- but a couple of CURRENT SUMNER properties did the bankrolling.
P. P. P. S. Yes, we suppose we should beamingly exclaim, "Oooh, look at the grown-ups playing Wookiees!" We suppose we should all laugh. DAMMIT, I want Fitzgeralds and Cathers and Mankiewiczes and Coplands and Kerns and Ellingtons making our culture again, not billionaire hacks and their infernal whores.
P. S. Yes, yes, something called "Showtime" and something else called "Simon and Schuster" helped launch it -- but people forget SUMNER has relinquished virtually no control over both His VIACONS since He split them up. Anything done by a SUMNER-controlled operation, we strongly suggest, HE does, and no matter what the company that did it might be called, this farce has SUMNER -- written all over it.
P. P. S. Evidently Slashdotters don't read as someone posted a Yahoo! logo with the summary. Yes, a couple of former Yahoo! executives did the organizing -- but a couple of CURRENT SUMNER properties did the bankrolling.
P. P. P. S. Yes, we suppose we should beamingly exclaim, "Oooh, look at the grown-ups playing Wookiees!" We suppose we should all laugh. DAMMIT, I want Fitzgeralds and Cathers and Mankiewiczes and Coplands and Kerns and Ellingtons making our culture again, not billionaire hacks and their infernal whores.
Whatever their symbolism, stories like this make me sad because so many do struggle just to put food on the table. In America no one should have to go hungry. With pluck and a little common sense, no one has to. And junk food, bad though it is for the health, is better than starving.
And that's one thing about this idiot stock speculation that makes me mad: the money either sits on paper or just VANISHES, as it did during the dot-com bust. It usually doesn't buy anything except a need for Prozac.
And that's one thing about this idiot stock speculation that makes me mad: the money either sits on paper or just VANISHES, as it did during the dot-com bust. It usually doesn't buy anything except a need for Prozac.
Two stocks (guess which two) added umpteen zillion dollars in market cap because people will now be able to download fuzzy amateur videos on a sexy device.
One hopes this typical Stale.com conventional devil's advocacy about steakhouses from the very stale Daniel Gross isn't an omen, for we'll all frown when Wall Street wants to laugh, but the money throwers at these marvels of the hour give us pause.
Then again, they haven't been wrong yet. Pffffffffffffffffft!
One hopes this typical Stale.com conventional devil's advocacy about steakhouses from the very stale Daniel Gross isn't an omen, for we'll all frown when Wall Street wants to laugh, but the money throwers at these marvels of the hour give us pause.
Then again, they haven't been wrong yet. Pffffffffffffffffft!
High-tech in DOW 36,000 territory:
Maintenance in progress...
Our site is currently being updated. Please check back later today
Wednesday May 30 2007 9:15am EST.
It's 3:17 p.m. Do you know where your Web site is?
Maintenance in progress...
Our site is currently being updated. Please check back later today
Wednesday May 30 2007 9:15am EST.
It's 3:17 p.m. Do you know where your Web site is?
FOOD FIGHT!
At the end of a post where he freaks out over a preposterously inappropriate way of measuring the federal deficit, Andrew Sullivan says this:
We side with Kevin -- after all, Mr. Mellerdrammer is no doubt well-paid into the system on the strength of what all those elite editors were hoodwinked into believing about him.
At the end of a post where he freaks out over a preposterously inappropriate way of measuring the federal deficit, Andrew Sullivan says this:
I also noticed in my latest letter from the Social Security Administration that, as currently configured, I'll get 76 percent of what I'm due if and when I retire. My bet is that it will turn out to be less than half. The boomers are going to hog all of it for themselves.Please. Just stop it. Assuming Wikipedia has his age right [!!!!! -- Ed.], Andrew will turn 65 in 2028. Even if we do absolutely nothing, CBO estimates that Social Security will pay out full benefits at least until 2053. Andrew will be 90 years old at that point.
We side with Kevin -- after all, Mr. Mellerdrammer is no doubt well-paid into the system on the strength of what all those elite editors were hoodwinked into believing about him.
Accomodations in the new luxury news suites at The Paper of Re-CORD:
Could it be that editorial-page editor Andrew Rosenthal’s new office is just as big as publisher Arthur Sulzberger Jr.’s 16th-floor spread?
“Let’s kill that rumor now,” said Mr. Rosenthal. “It’s not. His is a slightly different geometry.”
Mr. Rosenthal was speaking about geometric shapes and sizes by phone on May 28, exactly one week after his staff took residence on the tower’s lucky 13th floor.
With the relocation from 229 West 43rd Street, Mr. Rosenthal was forced to give up his two-room suite that included, most importantly, a private bathroom.
Now: “My office is exactly the same size as [deputy editorial-page editor] Carla Robbins,” Mr. Rosenthal said.
It still sounds pretty good for a five-star hotel.
Could it be that editorial-page editor Andrew Rosenthal’s new office is just as big as publisher Arthur Sulzberger Jr.’s 16th-floor spread?
“Let’s kill that rumor now,” said Mr. Rosenthal. “It’s not. His is a slightly different geometry.”
Mr. Rosenthal was speaking about geometric shapes and sizes by phone on May 28, exactly one week after his staff took residence on the tower’s lucky 13th floor.
With the relocation from 229 West 43rd Street, Mr. Rosenthal was forced to give up his two-room suite that included, most importantly, a private bathroom.
Now: “My office is exactly the same size as [deputy editorial-page editor] Carla Robbins,” Mr. Rosenthal said.
It still sounds pretty good for a five-star hotel.
AP BULLETIN!!!!!
LOS ANGELES (AP) -- Kobe Bryant says he wants to be traded by the Lakers.
Is even he that important?
LOS ANGELES (AP) -- Kobe Bryant says he wants to be traded by the Lakers.
Is even he that important?
Two members of THE CONSPIRACY are in a fight over whose numbers are more credibly dishonest.
This should be refereed by PAUL DRECK. Pffffffffffffffffffffffft!
This should be refereed by PAUL DRECK. Pffffffffffffffffffffffft!
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
How did that old New Yorker department go -- Stories We Didn't Finish After the First Sentence, or something like that:
“The Sopranos” teems with the mindless commerce and consumption of modern America. [Home-page squib]
Substitute The New Yorker for "'The Sopranos'", "twaddle" for "commerce", "insufferable pretensions" for "consumption" and "high-end media" for "America" and you have a much better sentence -- and one that isn't written by The Greatest Magazine Editor of All Time either.
“The Sopranos” teems with the mindless commerce and consumption of modern America. [Home-page squib]
Substitute The New Yorker for "'The Sopranos'", "twaddle" for "commerce", "insufferable pretensions" for "consumption" and "high-end media" for "America" and you have a much better sentence -- and one that isn't written by The Greatest Magazine Editor of All Time either.
The only thing about this atrocity is that there'll be no trial.
(Via FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!News, which is drooling)
(Via FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!News, which is drooling)
Look at the backdrop below the flag. Is it me or does it call to mind "Mission Accomplished"?
The question is not if Dubya is dense. The question is how dense.
What do I think? I think after the politicians and the hacks and the Bunsen Honeydews get together we'll permit the impermissible while screaming ETHICS!!!!! often enough to convince us we're doing the right thing. That's what I think.
Let's see if removing Iran from the Axis of Evil solves this one.
Jamshidi said the same charges had been lodged against Kian Tajbakhsh, an urban planning consultant with George Soros' Open Society Institute....
Shucks, I guess that doesn't help either.
(Via Chronicle.com's News Blog)
Jamshidi said the same charges had been lodged against Kian Tajbakhsh, an urban planning consultant with George Soros' Open Society Institute....
Shucks, I guess that doesn't help either.
(Via Chronicle.com's News Blog)
Just how disastrous was the Dems' capitulation on Iraq? St. Cindy of Sheehan has quit!
The sad thing is no one can hear her blame JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS anymore. Boo-hoo!
The sad thing is no one can hear her blame JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS anymore. Boo-hoo!
Home Construction Bust May Last Until 2011, U.S. Builders Say
Nah, it won't hurt the economy, Wall Street says.
Nah, it won't hurt the economy, Wall Street says.
THE DONALD pulls another one:
Miss USA Rachel Smith, who slipped and fell to the floor during the evening gown competition and was jeered by the Mexican audience during the interview phase, was the contest's fourth runner-up.
Thanks, Trumpster, for your fine contribution to international relations!
Hours before the pageant began, dozens of protesters held a mock ceremony in downtown Mexico City that featured "Miss Marijuana,""Miss Sexual Health,""Miss Human Rights" and other candidates with obscenities written across their sashes. The group yelled "Neither ugly nor beautiful, should a woman be considered an object!"
Oh, shut up.
1999 Miss Teen USA Vanessa Minnillo and "Extra" weekend correspondent Mario Lopez hosted the live, two-hour telecast, broadcast on NBC and Telemundo, expected to be viewed by more than 600 million people in more than 180 countries.
Has THE DONALD bought out the ASSPress?
Miss USA Rachel Smith, who slipped and fell to the floor during the evening gown competition and was jeered by the Mexican audience during the interview phase, was the contest's fourth runner-up.
Thanks, Trumpster, for your fine contribution to international relations!
Hours before the pageant began, dozens of protesters held a mock ceremony in downtown Mexico City that featured "Miss Marijuana,""Miss Sexual Health,""Miss Human Rights" and other candidates with obscenities written across their sashes. The group yelled "Neither ugly nor beautiful, should a woman be considered an object!"
Oh, shut up.
1999 Miss Teen USA Vanessa Minnillo and "Extra" weekend correspondent Mario Lopez hosted the live, two-hour telecast, broadcast on NBC and Telemundo, expected to be viewed by more than 600 million people in more than 180 countries.
Has THE DONALD bought out the ASSPress?
MS. TRAVERS AGAIN:
Time Flies [Kathryn Jean Lopez]
Our friends at Powerlineblog.com turned five this weekend.
05/29 12:02 AM
And they don't sound a day over two.
Time Flies [Kathryn Jean Lopez]
Our friends at Powerlineblog.com turned five this weekend.
05/29 12:02 AM
And they don't sound a day over two.
Political junkies and celebrities climb aboard nearly a dozen politically themed cruises this year. [Home-page squib]
ABANDON SHIP!
ABANDON SHIP!
I think the biz should blacklist any typist who quotes from Perfesser Soundbyte or PAUL DRECK.
First on the list for the latter: SHARON.
First on the list for the latter: SHARON.
Monday, May 28, 2007
The PAPER of Re-CORD comes to an astonishing conclusion:
Even as the industry tries to branch out, though, there is no promise of an answer to a potentially more profound predicament: a creative drought and a corresponding lack of artists who ignite consumers’ interest in buying music.
Nope, I guess it's not just file sharing.
Even as the industry tries to branch out, though, there is no promise of an answer to a potentially more profound predicament: a creative drought and a corresponding lack of artists who ignite consumers’ interest in buying music.
Nope, I guess it's not just file sharing.
ESPN, Electronic Arts Partnership Blurring Line Between Fantasy, Reality
I suspect it would be more apt to say it blurs the line between fantasy and fantasy.
I suspect it would be more apt to say it blurs the line between fantasy and fantasy.
The female Gordon Gekko of socialists met her match.
If NOSE weren't the perpetually raised left fist in the air Gekko Kudlow would write her a stirring defense.
If NOSE weren't the perpetually raised left fist in the air Gekko Kudlow would write her a stirring defense.
Speaking of which I've figured out what it is about high-tech firms in general and the likes of G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE in particular: they combine enormous brainpower, enormous wealth and an enormous lack of common sense. Add their enormous proclivity for unethical behavior and you have America in the 21st Century.
And really it's not brainpower but code-writing power, which merely seems the same.
And really it's not brainpower but code-writing power, which merely seems the same.
Any big business that calls itself "international" gives itself carte blanche to commit treason.
Reading this review of the latest sop to "women 18 to 34" ("still the most desirable demographic to advertisers", as Tom Shales says) convinces us Unilever's blathering about the mighty power of boomers is just another MadAve fraud. The advertisers must tell us the problem is with young whippersnappers who think their parents fought at Antietam, but it's far more than that; it's the notion of superiority to the audience that has ossified over eighty years of financing bad programs. To call the relationship between the show-biz charlatans and MadAve's highly-paid show-offs and their dopey clients incestuous vastly underestimates the power of corporate sex. We demand honesty, though the word never existed in the MadAve dictionary: what brave soul will stick his middle finger in our collective eye and finally, proudly admit that insulting the public and burning our money on junk "entertainment" is what advertisers were born to do?
By the way Uni, don't pat yourselves on the back about how you've allegedly made older women fashionable; Athena would look good at any age.
By the way Uni, don't pat yourselves on the back about how you've allegedly made older women fashionable; Athena would look good at any age.
Little Jeffy will not get out of show-biz. Little Jeffy likes to schmooze. Little Jeffy thinks he can sell high-tech medical devices and jet engines and locomotives with a promise of meeting stars of stupid TV dramas. The people who buy them are smarter. Show-biz is one reason GE BANCORP and REALTY has remained at $35 or so for the last six years. Little Jeffy would be wise to get out of show-biz ASAP.
Charles Nelson Reilly, who was much more talented than his rep as a second banana of inane game shows and a professional gay theater man would suggest, has died. RIP.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
ThE INCREASING IRRELEVANCE OF AD-BLURBISM: Stale.com's former TV ad-blurbist now seems to spend much of her time watching YouTube and thus commenting on its videos. We're grateful she has so much free time to fill, and the means to make money filling it. As we get older and realize how much time we've wasted we find it more difficult to waste ours with preoccupations like YouTube; writing a blog is a waste of time of its own. Besides, isn't one kind of bad TV enough?
Elsewhere in SLIME's paper of re-CORD, business maven Peter reports the Postal Disservice may institute a program of paid vanity ZIP Codes, meaning twenty-digit ZIPs and even more mail misdirected.
GREAT NEWS, B. S. DEFENDER:
Heavy TV viewing under 2 is found
About 40 percent of 3-month-olds watch television or videos for an average of 45 minutes a day, or more than five hours a week, according to the first-ever study of the viewing habits of children under the age of 2.
The study, by pediatric researchers at the University of Washington, also found that by age 2, 90 percent of children are watching television for an average of more than 90 minutes a day.
RIGHT ON, right B.S.?
Heavy TV viewing under 2 is found
About 40 percent of 3-month-olds watch television or videos for an average of 45 minutes a day, or more than five hours a week, according to the first-ever study of the viewing habits of children under the age of 2.
The study, by pediatric researchers at the University of Washington, also found that by age 2, 90 percent of children are watching television for an average of more than 90 minutes a day.
RIGHT ON, right B.S.?
Meanwhile, in other laugh-filled reporting, the ASSPress tells us how the festival of effete rotten-egg smells at Cannes is closing with a "comedy":
Though "Days of Darkness" criticizes the isolation and aseptic blandness of modern life, and though the main character's aging mother is dying in a hospital, it is a much lighter film than "Invasions." Arcand says it is the first time he has included elements of slapstick comedy in a movie.
A barrel of -- something, we are sure!
Though "Days of Darkness" criticizes the isolation and aseptic blandness of modern life, and though the main character's aging mother is dying in a hospital, it is a much lighter film than "Invasions." Arcand says it is the first time he has included elements of slapstick comedy in a movie.
A barrel of -- something, we are sure!
U.S. Deaths Near GRIM Memorial Day Mark, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! [Overemphasis added]
They're smiling! The hacks are SMILING AGAIN!
They're smiling! The hacks are SMILING AGAIN!
A scholar has written a one-volume biography of FDR, and as Jonathan Yardley reminds us in his eloquent review, whatever his foibles, Roosevelt was a man, and after Truman most who followed him didn't even qualify as mice.
USE YOU CAN NEWS: The Rag of the Zeitgeist talks pain, being very good at inflicting it, meanwhile shunting off some Mustapha Mond of the 21st Century to the for -- International editions. So what's wrong with scientists "playing god" anyway? Isn't science a religion? We may know what other religion is at work in this story -- in the very last graf:
Silver is professor of molecular biology at Princeton University. He is the author of "Challenging Nature." He has no financial ties with any biotech firm.
No, noooooooooooooooo!
Silver is professor of molecular biology at Princeton University. He is the author of "Challenging Nature." He has no financial ties with any biotech firm.
No, noooooooooooooooo!