THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
Blogroll Me!
![[Powered by Blogger]](http://buttons.blogger.com/bloggerbutton1.gif){kind=small}
Saturday, July 11, 2009
And as the PROFIT CENTER recedes further into oblivion, something to remember from the TWXSTERS -- from 1930:
Sheik Scoop
That the late, woman-worshiped Cinemactor [sic] Valentino may have died at just the right time—before talking & singing pictures came in—for his memory to remain inviolate in countless lovelorn breasts, was indicated last week when Wanamaker's department store in Manhattan made this unexpected announcement:
"First and exclusive release of the only recording of the voice of Rudolph Valentino singing his favorite ballad
"Kashmiri Song, in English
"Also El Relicario, in Spanish."
A natural question was: If such a recording existed, why was it not released until four years after Valentino's death?
The story: In 1923, Brunswick-Balke-Collender Co. asked Valentino, then, the rage in The Sheik and The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, to try making records. They rehearsed him on operatic arias but were not pleased. He slurred, mumbled, muffed, his diction was atrocious. Finally the Kashmiri Song (because he sang it mutely in The Sheik) and El Relicario (because of his Latin cast) were chosen. To Conductor Ralph Mazziotta who coached him, Valentino inscribed a photograph "In remembrance of my first record. (Hope it is a good one!)"
Conductor Mazziotta carefully kept the photograph but when he listened to Valentino's record he looked sad. It just would not do. The record was shelved.
At Valentino's fantastically elaborate funeral someone regretted that the voice of the dead sheik was stilled forever. "But no," declared another mourner, "he made a record! I heard. . . ." But memory failed as to where or when, and alert Walter King, president of Celebrity Recording Co. (Hollywood) who had overheard the remark, could learn no more.
Then began a search that took President King from Atlantic to Pacific. But no Valentino record did he find. By pure, accident [sic] the master record was unearthed in a dusty corner of a storeroom at Brunswick's factory in Muskegon, Mich. President King bought the rights for his company—but last week the Valentino "scoop" awaited a public that seemed not to care. What Brunswick had rejected and forgotten as unworthy of its standard. Wanamaker's [sic] vended not very successfully. In the first three days less than 1,000 records were sold. Valentino singing as with a mouthful of spaghetti seemed not to have the appeal of the sleek silent Sheik of the oldtime cinema.*
*Last week in Paris Paul Roger of the Pathe group was planning the synchronization of Valentino's Blood and Sand, as a test for making dead stars talk, with a Valentino mimic capable of gauging and timing the dialog accurately. [!]
P. S. Judging from the acoustic recordings (which are available on the Web, and both of which begin with a ludicrous stentorian announcer's intonations rather like The Amazing Criswell's) The Great Valentino sang from the back of his throat. Given his thick accent and thicker voice his stardom could have met a worse doom than John Gilbert's. It is unfortunate we cannot inflict the same career vanishing cream on the people who wouldn't leave us alone during the PROFIT CENTER.
Sheik Scoop
That the late, woman-worshiped Cinemactor [sic] Valentino may have died at just the right time—before talking & singing pictures came in—for his memory to remain inviolate in countless lovelorn breasts, was indicated last week when Wanamaker's department store in Manhattan made this unexpected announcement:
"First and exclusive release of the only recording of the voice of Rudolph Valentino singing his favorite ballad
"Kashmiri Song, in English
"Also El Relicario, in Spanish."
A natural question was: If such a recording existed, why was it not released until four years after Valentino's death?
The story: In 1923, Brunswick-Balke-Collender Co. asked Valentino, then, the rage in The Sheik and The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, to try making records. They rehearsed him on operatic arias but were not pleased. He slurred, mumbled, muffed, his diction was atrocious. Finally the Kashmiri Song (because he sang it mutely in The Sheik) and El Relicario (because of his Latin cast) were chosen. To Conductor Ralph Mazziotta who coached him, Valentino inscribed a photograph "In remembrance of my first record. (Hope it is a good one!)"
Conductor Mazziotta carefully kept the photograph but when he listened to Valentino's record he looked sad. It just would not do. The record was shelved.
At Valentino's fantastically elaborate funeral someone regretted that the voice of the dead sheik was stilled forever. "But no," declared another mourner, "he made a record! I heard. . . ." But memory failed as to where or when, and alert Walter King, president of Celebrity Recording Co. (Hollywood) who had overheard the remark, could learn no more.
Then began a search that took President King from Atlantic to Pacific. But no Valentino record did he find. By pure, accident [sic] the master record was unearthed in a dusty corner of a storeroom at Brunswick's factory in Muskegon, Mich. President King bought the rights for his company—but last week the Valentino "scoop" awaited a public that seemed not to care. What Brunswick had rejected and forgotten as unworthy of its standard. Wanamaker's [sic] vended not very successfully. In the first three days less than 1,000 records were sold. Valentino singing as with a mouthful of spaghetti seemed not to have the appeal of the sleek silent Sheik of the oldtime cinema.*
*Last week in Paris Paul Roger of the Pathe group was planning the synchronization of Valentino's Blood and Sand, as a test for making dead stars talk, with a Valentino mimic capable of gauging and timing the dialog accurately. [!]
P. S. Judging from the acoustic recordings (which are available on the Web, and both of which begin with a ludicrous stentorian announcer's intonations rather like The Amazing Criswell's) The Great Valentino sang from the back of his throat. Given his thick accent and thicker voice his stardom could have met a worse doom than John Gilbert's. It is unfortunate we cannot inflict the same career vanishing cream on the people who wouldn't leave us alone during the PROFIT CENTER.
North Korea wants the U.S. to show remorse for the actions of two American journalists convicted of illegally entering the country, and it might free the women if Washington does so, a scholar who visited Pyongyang said Saturday.
I think it safe to say President Apology and his Invisible Secretary of State will grant The Tiny Tyrant his wish.
(Also mentioned here)
I think it safe to say President Apology and his Invisible Secretary of State will grant The Tiny Tyrant his wish.
(Also mentioned here)
Meantime, The Daily Kaplan's ombudspoop says 2,237 WORDS of I'm sorry, but the fact remains The Kap was being HONEST in wanting to extend the favors it and other pulp piles extend every day. By asking pay for favors it does not need to pretend it is being ethical. Which is worse: a garbage dump or a garbage dump sweetened with Airwick?
A comment on Burger King having it its way:
having [SIC] worked on BK at several different agencies (who hasn't?) [I HAVEN'T!] it never fails to blow my mind that Crispin has been able to do such amazing work with such a neanderthal bunch of franchisees... the inmates have been running amok in that asylum forever.
So! The people who paid your salary are neanderthals. And who drives their business? The customers. We may assume they're neanderthals too to keep them running.
The people cannot do enough to put the MEDIA-INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX out of business.
having [SIC] worked on BK at several different agencies (who hasn't?) [I HAVEN'T!] it never fails to blow my mind that Crispin has been able to do such amazing work with such a neanderthal bunch of franchisees... the inmates have been running amok in that asylum forever.
So! The people who paid your salary are neanderthals. And who drives their business? The customers. We may assume they're neanderthals too to keep them running.
The people cannot do enough to put the MEDIA-INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX out of business.
Another excuse for the PROFIT CENTER, from a man who thinks he isn't excusing it:
Journalism isn't a single-minded monolith that decides what to foist on the public. It's a collection of individuals, who are just as easily affected by the feedback loop, while feeding into it.
...most of whom feeding into corner groceries like PEOPLE WARNER (latest market cap: $28.66 BILLION, despite it all) and ESPNCORP (latest market cap: $41.61 BILLION) and SUMNERIA (latest market cap: approximately $30 BILLION), which ooze together into a single-minded monolith that decides what to foist on the public.
Journalism isn't a single-minded monolith that decides what to foist on the public. It's a collection of individuals, who are just as easily affected by the feedback loop, while feeding into it.
...most of whom feeding into corner groceries like PEOPLE WARNER (latest market cap: $28.66 BILLION, despite it all) and ESPNCORP (latest market cap: $41.61 BILLION) and SUMNERIA (latest market cap: approximately $30 BILLION), which ooze together into a single-minded monolith that decides what to foist on the public.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Sam Donaldson, the "legendary" news equivalent of the villain stroking his handlebar mustache, makes an admission:
“Our critics see us as liberal Democrats, right? Particularly on social matters. I would bet you, if you took a good poll, doing it authentically with the right methodology and all of that, that a great majority of the press corps would be in favor of gay rights. Go down the list of litmus tests and social issues. Now, would that make a difference? We all say, ‘No, we don’t let our personal opinions interfere with objective coverage, particularly of a president.’ But on the margins, I think maybe it does. I remember the Kennedy era. It certain [SIC] did then.”
Certain!
(Via the usual Romy)
“Our critics see us as liberal Democrats, right? Particularly on social matters. I would bet you, if you took a good poll, doing it authentically with the right methodology and all of that, that a great majority of the press corps would be in favor of gay rights. Go down the list of litmus tests and social issues. Now, would that make a difference? We all say, ‘No, we don’t let our personal opinions interfere with objective coverage, particularly of a president.’ But on the margins, I think maybe it does. I remember the Kennedy era. It certain [SIC] did then.”
Certain!
(Via the usual Romy)
After having to encounter an especially excruciating front-page ad in today's local Metro I consoled myself to think it may soon fold. The publisher denies it; but there's been nothing of the annoying hawkers at the subway station this week and no piles of the toilet paper in view. A bad (or good) sign: I did see a vagrant trundling off with a sheaf for his bedding. A free "newspaper" as bedding -- that's all Metro is (and soon, I hope, to be was) good for.
And it's not just our Metro; I suspect in five years most free dailies will be poof. The beauty part is they may have weaned enough people off pay papers to permanently weaken them. Anything to debilitate a strong press. (PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!)
P. S. at 2:50 p. m. The ad ran on the front page of all three of the spun off Metros. Here's hoping they all fold!
And it's not just our Metro; I suspect in five years most free dailies will be poof. The beauty part is they may have weaned enough people off pay papers to permanently weaken them. Anything to debilitate a strong press. (PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!)
P. S. at 2:50 p. m. The ad ran on the front page of all three of the spun off Metros. Here's hoping they all fold!
Thursday, July 09, 2009
Oh, great! Did you HAVE to remind us, PVT. ZELL? Two weeks until the GEEK mob confabs with Hollywood over TENTPOLES!
We can hope the depr -- ECONOMY might take a little of the zing out of all this onanism, but we have other suspicions. For one thing, the geeks might not know what an economy is.
We can hope the depr -- ECONOMY might take a little of the zing out of all this onanism, but we have other suspicions. For one thing, the geeks might not know what an economy is.
Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhh, another group marches in heroic lockstep.
This is especially deflating because we expect scientists to be open-minded, and people who can lock up their brains in one area are apt to throw away the key in others.
P. S. at 9:24 p. m. I work in a facility with scientists and find this kind of ideological rigor mortis hard to believe. But there may be a reason for this survey's slant: Eighty percent of the surveyed scientists work in academe, governmment and non-profits, and half work in medicine. Only fifteen percent work in the private sector. NUF SAID.
P. P. S. In Sweden:
Confidence In Scientists On The Decline
Professors Sören Holmberg and Lennart Weibull of the SOM Institute believe that the financial crisis may have contributed to the decline in confidence.
“A lot of attention has been focused on how poorly experts and researchers have understood the situation, and on their inability to predict what happened.”
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!
PARAMOUNT 1ST TO CROSS $1B DOMESTIC MARK!!!!!
Meanwhile, Fox has already crossed the $1 billion international mark. Here's Paramount's news release:
They paid you all that money to run PRESS RELEASES, SUPERNIKKI!!!!!!!!!!?
(Fantasic overemphasis added)
Meanwhile, Fox has already crossed the $1 billion international mark. Here's Paramount's news release:
They paid you all that money to run PRESS RELEASES, SUPERNIKKI!!!!!!!!!!?
(Fantasic overemphasis added)
All this self-congratulation for the bang-up job on the PROFIT CENTER and this latest embarrassment of the CLOSED PARTY well indicate, to paraphrase Lillian Hellman, we should not believe news hacks right down to "and" and "the".
And a special demerit to Romy for screaming, "WH PRESS CORPS HANDS MORE AMMO TO FOX NEWS, RUSH!!!!!!!!!!" WE GET THE MESSAGE, ROMY.
And a special demerit to Romy for screaming, "WH PRESS CORPS HANDS MORE AMMO TO FOX NEWS, RUSH!!!!!!!!!!" WE GET THE MESSAGE, ROMY.
Remember the scum undertaker in Georgia who stored all those bodies in the crematorium? This is worse. If cemeteries aren't exempt from mass tampering what is?
Not too long ago we oohed an aahed over this HIP! HOT! new apartment complex that looks like an East German housing project, right smack in a HIP! HOT! neighborhood that still looks like an industrial zone despite all the trendies. About two weeks ago there was a double-murder inside said masterpiece, and it now emerges one of the victims was rather seriously in the drug trade. Now if we know the kind of HIP! HOT! airheads who live in such places we'd say this double-murder has landed it a new -- CACHET. I mean, how many double-murders of affluent drug dealers have YOU ever rubbed elbows with? Meantime, the neighborhood still looks like an industrial zone.
SLIME wanted to run his own CIA. I am ASTONISHED. The man who commissioned OJ's book? Knock me over with a FEATHER.
(Link via Seeking Alpha)
(Link via Seeking Alpha)
Today Anonymous channels his inner SKNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNX, which still doesn't make him unbad. When a man has spent so much of his career alternately toadying and screaming, you tend not to take him that seriously.
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
How's this for a global marketing strategy? Each month target a different international market with an ad that offends some segment of the population, then, after earning a lot of media attention, apologize and pull the ad.
BURGER KING -- HOME OF THE...(what's a suitable obscene substitute for "Whopper"?)
BUT:
...the tide may be turning on this kind of advertising. Several Burger King franchisees have said sales have "fallen off a cliff" since late March, following the chain's "Whopper Virgins" taste test among far-flung indigenous populations and the subsequent Texican Whopper ads. Several said the ads appeared to have alienated Hispanic customers, who tend to "overindex in the category." [Is that a slight too?]
Here's another company whose executives think THE ADS ARE GREAT.
BURGER KING -- HOME OF THE...(what's a suitable obscene substitute for "Whopper"?)
BUT:
...the tide may be turning on this kind of advertising. Several Burger King franchisees have said sales have "fallen off a cliff" since late March, following the chain's "Whopper Virgins" taste test among far-flung indigenous populations and the subsequent Texican Whopper ads. Several said the ads appeared to have alienated Hispanic customers, who tend to "overindex in the category." [Is that a slight too?]
Here's another company whose executives think THE ADS ARE GREAT.
And in a final tribute to America's stalwart defenders of the right to know who attended somebody's funeral for profit, we say...
GOD BLESS THE AMERICAN PR -- er...
GOD BLESS THE AMERICAN -- oh...
GOD BLESS THE -- JEEZ...
GOD BLESS THE AMERICAN PRESS!!!!!
DID IT!
GOD BLESS THE AMERICAN PR -- er...
GOD BLESS THE AMERICAN -- oh...
GOD BLESS THE -- JEEZ...
GOD BLESS THE AMERICAN PRESS!!!!!
DID IT!
We don't wish to see the PROFIT CENTER just ended rake in more dough but ESPNCORP NETWORK NEWS discloses through its tears (which fall like quarters into a piggy bank) that a some people who "should" have shown for THE GREATEST MEMORIAL SERVICE OF ALL TIME didn't, which means for the first and last time even a few celebrities had sense.
One of Greg's dear friends is up to something:
Morgan Stanley Plans to Turn Downgraded Loan CDO Into AAA Bonds
TRANSLATION: When's the NEXT government bailout?
Morgan Stanley Plans to Turn Downgraded Loan CDO Into AAA Bonds
TRANSLATION: When's the NEXT government bailout?
[T]o me the entire Sarah saga revealed that it wasn't only the traditional media's business model that is broken. Our journalism model is busted, too.
Say what?
Say what?
Yes, I Suck: Self-Help Through Negative Thinking
So why does NO ONE at PEOPLE WARNER EVER have a NEGATIVE THOUGHT?
So why does NO ONE at PEOPLE WARNER EVER have a NEGATIVE THOUGHT?
Two ASSPress stories, separated on its Web site by something about the Brickyard -- pardon, the ALLSTATE!!!!! 400 at the Brickyard:
UN: Israel must tear down West Bank barrier [or, to phrase it in the League of Nations' spirit, ISRAEL MUST TEAR DOWN WEST BANK BARRIER!!!!!!!!!!]
Hamas tries to detain woman walking with man
UN: Israel must tear down West Bank barrier [or, to phrase it in the League of Nations' spirit, ISRAEL MUST TEAR DOWN WEST BANK BARRIER!!!!!!!!!!]
Hamas tries to detain woman walking with man
Granted this IS NewsMAX!!!!!, but some Iranians had more important things to do yesterday than staring at their navels and awaiting the second coming of MJ.
We wonder if Cable Nuisance Network's boss GREG!!!!! knows where Iran is. He sure does know where MADAVE is.
We wonder if Cable Nuisance Network's boss GREG!!!!! knows where Iran is. He sure does know where MADAVE is.
And the man who runs Cable Nuisance Network gloats:
“We only went commercial-free during the ceremony itself, so you’re looking at just about two hours,” said Greg D’Alba, executive vp and chief operating officer, CNN Ad Sales. “We carried regular spot loads right up to and immediately afterwards and so a lot of advertisers were able to benefit from the ratings lift.”...
“Linear TV is still our core business, but our reach is turbo-charged by online,” D’Alba said. “An event of this scale really tests our technology. We really believe we reached a point of maximum overload, and yet everything seemed to hold up nicely. WE SHOULD GET HUGE NUMBERS ACROSS THE BOARD!!!!!” [Huge overemphasis added]
AND:
Among the roster of clients that ran ads on CNN immediately before the service were General Motors, Geico and Morgan Stanley.
A bankrupt auto firm, ST. WARREN and a shifty government-aided brokerage. Figures.
“We only went commercial-free during the ceremony itself, so you’re looking at just about two hours,” said Greg D’Alba, executive vp and chief operating officer, CNN Ad Sales. “We carried regular spot loads right up to and immediately afterwards and so a lot of advertisers were able to benefit from the ratings lift.”...
“Linear TV is still our core business, but our reach is turbo-charged by online,” D’Alba said. “An event of this scale really tests our technology. We really believe we reached a point of maximum overload, and yet everything seemed to hold up nicely. WE SHOULD GET HUGE NUMBERS ACROSS THE BOARD!!!!!” [Huge overemphasis added]
AND:
Among the roster of clients that ran ads on CNN immediately before the service were General Motors, Geico and Morgan Stanley.
A bankrupt auto firm, ST. WARREN and a shifty government-aided brokerage. Figures.
In the Insane Asylum on the Hill:
Democrats from conservative districts are almost visibly queasy about the prospect of honoring Jackson further. When CBC members called for a moment of silence for Jackson on the House floor last month, Rep. John Yarmuth (D-Ky.) walked out. He said he was “nauseated” by the tribute — and that he was hardly the only Democratic member who felt that way.
“The cloakroom was pretty well packed,” Yarmuth told a Los Angeles radio station. “I think there were a lot of people who were disgusted by it.”
[This-is-only-a-CONSERVATIVE-thing emphasis added]
Can you imagine what Cable Nuisance Network is like today? What's the biggest mass hangover in history?
Democrats from conservative districts are almost visibly queasy about the prospect of honoring Jackson further. When CBC members called for a moment of silence for Jackson on the House floor last month, Rep. John Yarmuth (D-Ky.) walked out. He said he was “nauseated” by the tribute — and that he was hardly the only Democratic member who felt that way.
“The cloakroom was pretty well packed,” Yarmuth told a Los Angeles radio station. “I think there were a lot of people who were disgusted by it.”
[This-is-only-a-CONSERVATIVE-thing emphasis added]
Can you imagine what Cable Nuisance Network is like today? What's the biggest mass hangover in history?
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
We note two other small signs of consolation related to the PROFIT CENTER, both from AhtsJournal:
1. A six-month ARTnews investigation and interviews with scholars, dealers, and other sources in the United States, Russia, Germany, France, and Spain reveals that the number of Russian avant-garde fakes on the market is so high that they far outnumber the authentic works. “There are more fakes than genuine pictures,” said Alla Rosenfeld, curator of the Norton Dodge Collection of Soviet Nonconformist Art at Rutgers University from 1992 to 2006 and former vice president of the Russian art department at Sotheby’s New York. It’s impossible to put a number on them, said Natalia Kournikova of Kournikova Gallery in Moscow, but “we can say that almost every artist whose prices have risen has become the victim of fake makers.”
2. The total volume of sales at London’s June auctions of Impressionist and contemporary works declined 70 percent on last year as auction houses cut jobs and guarantees to sellers to adjust to the financial slump....
London’s sales of Impressionist art generated a total of 95.9 million pounds, a contraction of 68 percent on last year. Totals for contemporary art were down 73 percent from 260.9 million pounds to 70 million pounds. It was a similar story in May in New York, where Sotheby’s and Christie’s contemporary auctions registered totals that were respectively 75 percent and 72 percent down on 2008 levels.
At first glance they would have nothing to do with the PROFIT CENTER, but they do: they show that too many people are ready to throw their sense and their money out the window for AHT; that a lot of the people who've overpaid for AHT did so largely to keep up with the Joneses; that AHT is subject to whims and trends of dubious provenance, and often based on no known reason whatsoever; that AHT collectors are so willing to believe they'll buy outright fakes with no due diligence; that AHT, like BIGMEDIA, is ruled by conformists. Moreover the AHT phreaks have at least a vague connection with BIGMEDIA, using them to tout their reps or their prices. That the AHT market is a house of cards does not surprise us; but then BIGMEDIA is too, and in time the spit and tape holding it up will weaken, and the whole rotten flimsy edifice of lies will collapse.
P. S.
A number of prominent art historians who began their careers as academic scholars are authenticating Russian avant-garde works. According to Shatskikh and others, the authenticators often claim to be compiling catalogues raisonnés and promise to include the works they certify in future publications, which gives additional weight to their certificates. These documents are often short—a page or two stating that the work in question can be attributed to a certain artist. They rarely contain specific information about a work’s genesis or detailed comparisons with other similar works by the artist.
NEWS HACKS in the AHT WORLD!
1. A six-month ARTnews investigation and interviews with scholars, dealers, and other sources in the United States, Russia, Germany, France, and Spain reveals that the number of Russian avant-garde fakes on the market is so high that they far outnumber the authentic works. “There are more fakes than genuine pictures,” said Alla Rosenfeld, curator of the Norton Dodge Collection of Soviet Nonconformist Art at Rutgers University from 1992 to 2006 and former vice president of the Russian art department at Sotheby’s New York. It’s impossible to put a number on them, said Natalia Kournikova of Kournikova Gallery in Moscow, but “we can say that almost every artist whose prices have risen has become the victim of fake makers.”
2. The total volume of sales at London’s June auctions of Impressionist and contemporary works declined 70 percent on last year as auction houses cut jobs and guarantees to sellers to adjust to the financial slump....
London’s sales of Impressionist art generated a total of 95.9 million pounds, a contraction of 68 percent on last year. Totals for contemporary art were down 73 percent from 260.9 million pounds to 70 million pounds. It was a similar story in May in New York, where Sotheby’s and Christie’s contemporary auctions registered totals that were respectively 75 percent and 72 percent down on 2008 levels.
At first glance they would have nothing to do with the PROFIT CENTER, but they do: they show that too many people are ready to throw their sense and their money out the window for AHT; that a lot of the people who've overpaid for AHT did so largely to keep up with the Joneses; that AHT is subject to whims and trends of dubious provenance, and often based on no known reason whatsoever; that AHT collectors are so willing to believe they'll buy outright fakes with no due diligence; that AHT, like BIGMEDIA, is ruled by conformists. Moreover the AHT phreaks have at least a vague connection with BIGMEDIA, using them to tout their reps or their prices. That the AHT market is a house of cards does not surprise us; but then BIGMEDIA is too, and in time the spit and tape holding it up will weaken, and the whole rotten flimsy edifice of lies will collapse.
P. S.
A number of prominent art historians who began their careers as academic scholars are authenticating Russian avant-garde works. According to Shatskikh and others, the authenticators often claim to be compiling catalogues raisonnés and promise to include the works they certify in future publications, which gives additional weight to their certificates. These documents are often short—a page or two stating that the work in question can be attributed to a certain artist. They rarely contain specific information about a work’s genesis or detailed comparisons with other similar works by the artist.
NEWS HACKS in the AHT WORLD!
The PROFIT CENTER of the last ten days shows us there must be a way for us Internet users to avoid stories we don't want to hear about, if only for our sanity. The danger, of course, is that one uses such means to avoid unpleasant but necessary stories; but when the hacks focus on making money it becomes extremely necessary. I thus propose that any news organization institute a filter on its Web site to let the reader keep out unwanted stories. A filter's advantage is not only could you keep out PROFIT CENTERS, but the kind of parasitism that goes hand-in-hand with them: movie ad-blurbs, rock-musick ad blurbs, TV ad-blurbs, stories praising anything Hollywood, stories of over 1,500 words that sell something, stories on personal tragedies involving private citizens, stories on the AD BOWL or eating competitions or TWITTER!!!!! and other fads, stories on sudden idiot pundit manias like SARAH!!!!!, soft features on politicians news hacks like (although that would keep out nearly everything on His Omnipotence, but that's a chance one must take) -- and above all, the unavoidable videos that show little and say less than. Heck I'd even turn to USAOKAY!!!!!.com during a manufactured crisis. If junk stories get shunted off to People.com or TMZ.com or the Web fanzines -- who cares? They can have them. With filters in place and enough people using them the hacks might learn to report less on what THEIR CEOs need and more on what WE need -- and even then it's doubtful. Anything, however, to avoid the obsessions and total MALFEASANCE of the last ten days -- and the last TEN MONTHS.
Which reminds us -- DESPITE the PROFIT CENTER, TWX down $0.82 (even with the Cable Nuisance Networks and TMZ), DIS down $0.56, GE BANCORP down $0.47, CBS down $0.31, VIAB down $0.61, NWSA down $0.37, GCI down $0.12, CMCSA down $0.60 -- and poor old MNI down $0.03 to $0.44. AND SNE down $0.93. GOOD!
Which reminds us -- DESPITE the PROFIT CENTER, TWX down $0.82 (even with the Cable Nuisance Networks and TMZ), DIS down $0.56, GE BANCORP down $0.47, CBS down $0.31, VIAB down $0.61, NWSA down $0.37, GCI down $0.12, CMCSA down $0.60 -- and poor old MNI down $0.03 to $0.44. AND SNE down $0.93. GOOD!
And on the day Wacko and the news media are laid to rest:
“Live is growing, but it’s growing unevenly,” PRS’s Page said. “Artists generating these big numbers can be characterised as heritage acts. Yet there are growing concerns with demand for the ‘mid-priced’ touring acts.” The credit crunch has made it difficult to sell tickets to mid-sized venues of 1,000-2,000 seats, he said.
TRANSLATION: Oldies theme parks on the high-end, no-names who won't get any bigger below, and the "music" suffers, as always.
“Live is growing, but it’s growing unevenly,” PRS’s Page said. “Artists generating these big numbers can be characterised as heritage acts. Yet there are growing concerns with demand for the ‘mid-priced’ touring acts.” The credit crunch has made it difficult to sell tickets to mid-sized venues of 1,000-2,000 seats, he said.
TRANSLATION: Oldies theme parks on the high-end, no-names who won't get any bigger below, and the "music" suffers, as always.
TRANSLATION: This depr -- GLOBAL ECONOMY isn't a blip on the screen, whatever the blithe talk about debt.
“The credibility of the Anglo-Saxon model is under threat,” Mohamed El-Erian, chief executive officer of Pacific Investment Management Co., said in a Web commentary last month. “Yet there are no ready substitutes that are able and willing to step in.”
We have two: CHINA and INDIA.
“The credibility of the Anglo-Saxon model is under threat,” Mohamed El-Erian, chief executive officer of Pacific Investment Management Co., said in a Web commentary last month. “Yet there are no ready substitutes that are able and willing to step in.”
We have two: CHINA and INDIA.
I don't know how long this hack has been writing, but judging from this graphic it's been a VERY long time, and we must not forget he was a ROCK mu-SICK cri-TICK, which means it's been a VERY VERY long time. This biz will never solve its problems without younger (or at least different) blood, and some of the tired old blood just doesn't want to circulate out of the newsrooms.
Besides, clod, "It's what the public wants" applies to TWINKIES too.
Haven't enough BIGMEDIA types said how wonderful BIGMEDIA are?
(Via MediaBistro)
Sammy GLICK...MAN's "boring". Sammy thinks he'd make a good senator. Yes, they go together.
P. S. A tribute to SUPERNIKKI!!!!!!!!!!
P. S. A tribute to SUPERNIKKI!!!!!!!!!!
President Obama today offered to scrap plans for a missile defence shield in Eastern Europe if Russia helped to stop Iran developing a nuclear bomb.
Your Omnipotence, will you stop running for president?
Even ZEITGEIST says the talkfest won't work.
Which reminds us:
A future executive editor!
Your Omnipotence, will you stop running for president?
Even ZEITGEIST says the talkfest won't work.
Which reminds us:
A future executive editor!
Despite massive government efforts to bolster the credit market, banks are pulling back strongly on card lending. [Seeking Alpha squib]
Oh really?
Oh really?
Al shares the worldview of Paul Wellstone, his late friend who held the same Senate seat before his tragic death during his 2002 reelection campaign. But he is also a pragmatist who will try to find allies for ideas and programs that do not necessarily fit any predictable ideological mold.
TRANSLATION: I've known "Al" for twenty years too!
SHUT UP, NORM ORNSTEIN.
P. S. on 7/10/2009 at 2:35 p. m.
AEI resident scholar Norm Ornstein is not only a longtime friend of new U.S. Senator Al Franken (the two met at the 1988 Democratic Convention in Atlanta), he's also Franken's temporary roommate. When the former comedian used to swing through town, he frequently stayed in Ornstein's Capitol Hill house.
Thanks for telling us, MORON.
TRANSLATION: I've known "Al" for twenty years too!
SHUT UP, NORM ORNSTEIN.
P. S. on 7/10/2009 at 2:35 p. m.
AEI resident scholar Norm Ornstein is not only a longtime friend of new U.S. Senator Al Franken (the two met at the 1988 Democratic Convention in Atlanta), he's also Franken's temporary roommate. When the former comedian used to swing through town, he frequently stayed in Ornstein's Capitol Hill house.
Thanks for telling us, MORON.
And speaking of profit centers, the ASSPress discovers still more "news":
Panasonic breaks into robotics with medical robot
How much can we hike health-care costs with this one, Panny? Especially since they're dispensing drugs?
Panasonic breaks into robotics with medical robot
How much can we hike health-care costs with this one, Panny? Especially since they're dispensing drugs?
TODAY is NATIONAL PROFIT-CENTER DAY!!!!! When the "NEWS" is all about MAKING PROFITS!!!!! The strange thing is, though, for two or three or five or ten hours the networks conspiring against us won't run any ads! Where will they make the money? Oh, people are watching TV in a season where they wouldn't watch. But what if lots of people decide they don't want to watch TV? Where is the audience then?
The day FRANK MAGID first spoke the words PROFIT CENTER was The Day TV News Died. The good thing is it deserved it.
The day FRANK MAGID first spoke the words PROFIT CENTER was The Day TV News Died. The good thing is it deserved it.
Monday, July 06, 2009
An advertising exec makes a show of contrition:
Most advertising is mediocre at best. And yet every advertisement was approved by someone at some company somewhere in the world. Why didn't the people who approved these mediocre advertisements demand to see "something better?"
The truth is, they thought the ads were good. Actually it's worse. Based on my personal experience in working with advertising people, I believe that most of them thought their advertisements were "great."
And the junk TV they finance with the ads is GREATER!
Most advertising is mediocre at best. And yet every advertisement was approved by someone at some company somewhere in the world. Why didn't the people who approved these mediocre advertisements demand to see "something better?"
The truth is, they thought the ads were good. Actually it's worse. Based on my personal experience in working with advertising people, I believe that most of them thought their advertisements were "great."
And the junk TV they finance with the ads is GREATER!
ARCHDaily!
The problem with modern college dorms is they tend to look like modern college dorms...
...and the problem with modern expensive houses is they tend to look like modern expensive doctors' offices. (Not to knock this design; at least it looks like something.)
The problem with modern college dorms is they tend to look like modern college dorms...
...and the problem with modern expensive houses is they tend to look like modern expensive doctors' offices. (Not to knock this design; at least it looks like something.)
We just noticed this: It's time for PVT. ZELL to fire Mogul's Friend. Here a columnist for the Wall Street Journals writes a reasonable article about the death of film songs and Mog has to Krugmanize over it because the Journals run Nazi editorials. Mog would vastly benefit by seeking paid favors for his press releases, as he worships the ground the studio hacks don't have to walk on; indeed we rather suspect he was crestfallen when The Daily Kaplan reversed itself -- all the more reason for PVT. ZELL to fire him. Besides he can always get a job as a studio flack -- the sort of thing he was born for.
We might further note Mog's tantrum has drawn zero comments, which is too many.
P. S. Using the name Jason Mcgruder, Mog got his interns to write a comment in the original:
The older-skewing acadamy [SIC] has never nominated a Madonna song, for example, despite her having co-written many top 10 hits for movies (Live to Tell, I'll Remember, Beutiful [SIC] Strnager [SIC], Die Another Day, to name a few) while simultaneously nomiting [SIC] so many songs by Randy Newman I have lost count....Of course an old fogie who does not actually know what kids listen to today would dismiss this all as music that is not as good as that old-time jazz...which in own [SIC] early days was dismissed as "negro music."
Mog, you really must get your interns to spell better -- and get their grammar in gear.
P. P. S. We hate to prolong the agony but if today's "music" is so wonderful why are recorded sound and radio in the toilet? And why is the concert racket a glorified oldies show? We've heard enough excuses about three-song playlists and file sharing, and they're true enough as they go, and perhaps the Web understates a given song's popularity, but a good song should become famous whatever the technology. God knows enough bad songs have. And we will not unearth the old line "you get what you pay for." Mog and his interns to the contrary, this is not an age of good songs.
We might further note Mog's tantrum has drawn zero comments, which is too many.
P. S. Using the name Jason Mcgruder, Mog got his interns to write a comment in the original:
The older-skewing acadamy [SIC] has never nominated a Madonna song, for example, despite her having co-written many top 10 hits for movies (Live to Tell, I'll Remember, Beutiful [SIC] Strnager [SIC], Die Another Day, to name a few) while simultaneously nomiting [SIC] so many songs by Randy Newman I have lost count....Of course an old fogie who does not actually know what kids listen to today would dismiss this all as music that is not as good as that old-time jazz...which in own [SIC] early days was dismissed as "negro music."
Mog, you really must get your interns to spell better -- and get their grammar in gear.
P. P. S. We hate to prolong the agony but if today's "music" is so wonderful why are recorded sound and radio in the toilet? And why is the concert racket a glorified oldies show? We've heard enough excuses about three-song playlists and file sharing, and they're true enough as they go, and perhaps the Web understates a given song's popularity, but a good song should become famous whatever the technology. God knows enough bad songs have. And we will not unearth the old line "you get what you pay for." Mog and his interns to the contrary, this is not an age of good songs.
Robert McNamara, the nerdy former auto "Whiz Kid" who helped botch things in Vietnam, then decided he had to apologize for it, has died. RIP.
When your kind of music stinks, what's the solution? Of course -- get the taxpayer to pay for its "improvement"!
This looks like a job for LORD KOPPEL!
This looks like a job for LORD KOPPEL!
The good thing about Hearst's Frisco paper the Daily Dramatic Chronicle shutting down its printing presses and outsourcing to a non-union outfit is that it will enable it to pay more for people to misreport the news and cut down its circ some more and then maybe finally put it out of biz for good.
As The Daily Kaplan's attempt at favor granting proves, the news biz ceased being about the little guy eons ago.
(Via the usual Romy)
As The Daily Kaplan's attempt at favor granting proves, the news biz ceased being about the little guy eons ago.
(Via the usual Romy)
Sunday, July 05, 2009
In the old days future California governor Meg "Mug" Whitman and her crew would disco-dance on their eBay desks over ads like this, but now they meet with a collective shrug, as high-tech sex symbols aren't what they used to be.
I would not want to bet any dough that Mug would be the slightest superior to the lunkhead Ah-NULT.
I would not want to bet any dough that Mug would be the slightest superior to the lunkhead Ah-NULT.
In a contest we would find it hard to decide who could be more disingenuous: His Omnipotence or HENRY HONEST. That said, Hank is on to something when the say Om "had to under-promise and over-deliver", when of course being the candidate of news hacks he over-promised and under-delivered. But this was the second coming of Abe -- it WAS Abe. Right?