Posted 9:54 AM by Gene

I've figured what it is about Attorney General Effete Q. Snob that inspires an almost visceral reaction in me:

1. He looks like the proverbial egghead in the worst sense, a man who's spent all his life in the hallowed hermetically-sealed halls of academe -- and you know he knows he's an egghead, and likes it. The only thing missing is a bow tie -- and probably somebody in His Omnipotence's squad told him not to wear one.

2. He suggests the type who would do the sorts of things he derides in his political opponents, but when you remind him of that he gets very self-righteously angry and denies it, albeit in the cool, collected manner that makes you think you're speaking with an android.

3. He seems extraordinarily legalistic, a man who could tie up the whole government because he found one misspelling in a document that disagreed with him.

4. We further suspect he could argue with somebody for thirty-six hours over the rights of vagrants to piddle anywhere, or the rights of graffiti "artists", or the rights of drug users, or the rights of...militants -- and he is so brilliant and so stubborn because of that brilliance he wouldn't move an inch.

5. We suspect yet further he's the sort who'd tell the victim of a terrorist attack, "I'm sorry ma'am, but the law clearly says...." In short, he is not a people person, but he needn't be, as an acolyte of The Lord.

Say what you will of Ed Meese or John Ashcroft, for all the screaming they inspired in the left they were blunderbusses who ultimately couldn't be taken seriously. Effete is better than that. Happily he will make a genius-IQ mistake of some kind before he can do real damage. That is little consolation.

Posted 9:50 AM by Gene

Okay, we don't have that much respect for all those Republicans willing to look away at the expense of the Medicare prescription-drug benefit. But what of all those Democrats who voted for twice?

Posted 6:50 PM by Gene

Somebody tell Attorney General Effete Q. Snob that darnit we're not finished with -- MILITANTS yet.

I wonder -- what kind of punishment does the NEW! IMPROVED! "Justice" Department plan for this one?

President Barack Obama was notified of the incident and discussed it with security officials, the White House said. It said he is monitoring the situation and receiving regular updates from his vacation spot in Hawaii....

Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano has been briefed on the incident and is closely monitoring the situation.

Yes, we can imagine. Doesn't that sound like something from the state press?

(More here. This sounds almost comical, but remember Richard Reid and it's not the least bit funny, whatever kind of doofus he was. Or as the last graf goes, "His actions, in part, are why we must all now take off our shoes as part of the airport security screening process." That and Effete Q. Snobs worry that 90-something great-grandmothers and three-year-old girls might try to take down a plane.)

Posted 12:57 PM by Gene

And speaking of Christmas, here's CW from the anti-CW CW of Zeitgeist:

Critics of the "mainstream" media's supposed fondness for Obama will not be surprised to learn that the mood among the guests in the room, and elsewhere throughout the grand house, felt more comfortable and loose than I remember it in earlier presidencies. No one feels quite "at home" in the White House—not even a president—and certainly not during a mass event like a press party. But I did get the sense that many of the folks there that night were relaxing in a way they would not have during, say, the late Clinton or Bush Two Years.

TRANSLATION: The bobbleheads can bobble their heads again.

Posted 12:02 PM by Gene

And now for our annual roundup of Christmas trees via the wire services and Yahoo! News -- and this time they stay (how could we have not known what we were doing for so long? Easily):



A Christmas tree "outside Zappeio Conference Hall in Athens";



A Christmas tree "on Skeppsbro quay in the old town of Stockholm";



A Christmas tree "on the Grand Place in Brussels";



A Christmas tree outside No. 10 Downing Street in London;



A Christmas tree "displayed during a night bazaar in Manila";



A Christmas tree "the West Bank town of Beit Sahur near Bethlehem";



A Christmas tree outside the U. S. Capitol, from when it snowed the other day;



A Christmas tree in Kiev (evidently they call it a New Year's tree there);



A Christmas tree outside the Parliament in Tbilisi, Georgia;



A Christmas tree made of Lego bricks [!!!!!] at a shopping mall in Jakarta (how apt);



A Christmas tree "at the Esplanada dos Ministerios in Brasilia";



A Christmas tree (of sorts) "by Italian artist Antonio Barrese dedicated to Futurism, (as) seen during its inauguration under a heavy snowfall, in Milan";



A Christmas tree, complete with caroling kids, "during a photo call at a promotional event for the Christmas holiday season, at the Everland Amusement Park in Yongin, about 50 km (31 miles) south of Seoul";



A Christmas tree "inside the perimeter of the compound of the United States Interests Section in Havana";



A Christmas tree in Mexico City, where the locals were gathered on this evening to hear Placido Domingo;



A Christmas tree "on the inner lake Alster in downtown Hamburg";



A Christmas tree "during the launch of 'Beirut Celebrates' at a Christmas parade in downtown Beirut";



A Christmas tree celebrating "the theme 'American Christmas' in the Krebs Glas Lauscha GmbH company in Lauscha, central Germany. The company is one of the leading global manufactures [SIC] of Christmas ornaments." (Again, how apt)



The Christmas tree at the Vatican;



A Christmas tree "at a Paris department store";



Back to Jakarta for "a Christmas tree in a shark tank at (the) Sea World aquarium";



A Christmas tree -- well, let's use the Reuters caption: "U.S Army soldiers medic Pfc. Rogue Carmona (L) and squadron physician Major David Gaitonde from Task Force Denali 1-40 CAV work at their desk near a Christmas tree at a clinic at FOB Clark in Khowst province, Afghanistan";




And finally, a Christmas tree and a girl in Baghdad.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Posted 3:06 PM by Gene

We were about to try to find a moral in this story of the violent model except that 1. She appears to be some sort of PR0N "star", 2. She further appears to be augmented, 3. She probably is as smart as the act she committed, and 4. We have enough hits from lechers.

We were also going to post a picture until we learned of 2. and remembered 4.

Posted 1:28 PM by Gene

Schumer Urges Wall Street Bankers to ‘Get That Money Out There’

As opposed to WHINYCARE, whose premise is "Get that money outta there!"

Posted 8:35 AM by Gene

According to the Congressional Budget Office, the Senate bill would reduce the deficit by more than one hundred billion dollars over the next decade. Some critics have asserted that the savings are an illusion produced by phasing in the higher taxes more quickly than the benefits, but this is incorrect. At no point do the costs exceed the savings. Indeed, the savings accelerate more quickly over the long run—CBO calculates that reform will save on the order of a trillion dollars in its second ten years.

But many health care economists believe reform could save far more money that that.

Indeed it could save us so much money we could finance the whole federal government from it!

Naturally, we can’t be certain what will happen in the future.

Except that health care reform will save us SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much money it could finance the whole federal government!

What's the difference between a PILLHEAD and an aspiring PILLHEAD of the left? PILLHEAD is EVIL.

This is the moral equivalent of those typists who called TGSM "IMMORTAL". I hate being lied to in the name of a cause.

Posted 8:12 AM by Gene

According to my News Hacks' Dictionary, when the typists gush "historic" that often means good. The state press today is using the word "historic". A blithering idiot like Tom Harkin is using the word "historic". Everybody is using the word historic. We can think of lots of bad history. Anyone care to call it historic? And lots of Democrats don't like it. I suppose that makes it even more historic. Some state attorneys general don't like it. (Alas, they're Republicans.) I'm guessing it still passes no matter how much people scream; this seems almost pre-ordained. I'm surprised a hack like MR. MELLERDRAMMER or some keyboard banger at Grate.com hasn't said the bill's so bad it's good. That's next.

Blithering idiot WHINY REID pulled a BARRY INAUGURAL. NUF SAID.



And look who came out of the attic for the first time in several months! HI ALEX THROTTLEBOTTOM! WE MISSED YOU TOO!

Posted 8:37 PM by Gene

McCain, GOP secretly [SIC!!!!!] courting another Dem to switch

There goes that brilliant idea.

Posted 8:25 PM by Gene

It's official: The scum BERNIE won't make it out of prison alive.

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!

Posted 8:20 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: When does this fad peter out? Oh, it won't soon, what with the SURCHARGES and the TENTPOLES, and all the stupid things you can do in 3D, but when everyone thinks alike as they do in Hollywood there is no plan B.

Naturally, George Lucas is exploring a 3D version of “Star Wars.”

Yes, we're definitely in that phase.

“You wouldn’t want to remake 'Star Wars,' [!] or 'Close Encounters.' just because you can do it in 3D. it’s bad. Then you’re just back into terrible remakes of good movies.

“If you take a classic movie that’s fantastic [SIC!], what you’re up against is people will just say you blew it. “

Wise words that will probably be ignored.

Wise words were erased from the mogul's dictionary long ago.

Posted 8:06 PM by Gene

One of Speaker Babs's enforcers the chairman of the Rules Committee has written a death warrant for WHINYCARE.

But will the Dems take the hint when they've stuck it so good and hard to the peo -- the Republicans?

P. S.

At the rate that Democratic politicians were generating ever-more-spectacular budget savings from the same old set of health care proposals, I had expected our looming fiscal problems to be permanently resolved by this time next week.

HARDY HAR HAR!

(First link via -- oh well -- Spectator.org, a tribute to how the big Web sites manage to hide important things like this; second link via HENRY HONEST)

Posted 5:20 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



We know -- a tribute to the rear end of the '57 Chevy!

Posted 5:17 PM by Gene

In other celebrity nincompoopery, we are sorry to see Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins have split. We presume they couldn't stand each other's politics.

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!

Posted 5:15 PM by Gene

If this genius were a [C]RAPPER we'd say a brilliant career move. Who knows? It may yet be a brilliant career move.

Look, we understand you might not like Mickey Rooney but was it necessary?

She was charged under her married name, Amy Civil....

NO COMMENT.

Posted 2:02 PM by Gene

My own view is that 2009 has been an extraordinarily successful year for Obama. Since this is currently a minority view and will prompt a chorus of "In The Tank!"....

We last read MR. MELLERDRAMMER about the next-to-last time we read SAM LITTLE. We said before some hacks cannot be trusted just from their by-lines. When an allegedly professional writer allows his critics to snicker at him in the second sentence, he is an incompetent. Today we heard that "imminent" health care reform is not so imminent, that the alleged reform may run a deficit (albeit from a conservative Republican source), that Gitmo won't be closed so soon -- the only conclusion is the guy is in the tank. He's not the only one, right or left, but enough are in one tank or another as to make us view the whole business with scorn. And MELLER has been risible for years.

And now not to read his column again for a few centuries, unless he tries provoking an unintended laugh again.

P. S. ROAD RUNNER.

P. P. S. And of course the cartoon he posts is from a 1980 TV special, long after the great Warner cartoons became tray lousay, so MELLER has a lack of taste to go along with his lack of sense.

Posted 1:36 PM by Gene

Speaking of pushing back, what's the excuse for rushrushrushing your "reform" NOW, WHINY REID?

Posted 12:18 PM by Gene

GREAT: PepsiCo and its super-PC CEO are thinking of buying Kellogg's.

For what -- except to dominate the financing of junk television?

Posted 11:09 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: One of these days The Paper of Re-CORD (and the Democratic Party) will endorse veganism -- and the Wall Street Casino will reward it by pushing its stock to $200 a share.

Posted 10:56 AM by Gene

Speaking of BARRY, here's a question for you nostalgia buffs: Whatever became of Vice-President Alexander P. Throttlebottom?

Posted 10:53 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: The Wall Street Casino is giving the newspaper biz an excuse for bad performance.

P. S. at 1:32 p. m.

McClatchy (MNI) has gotten generous with its holiday handouts - at least for a few execs, on whom it's ladling tons of restricted stock for the first time in a while. CEO Gary Pruitt, who presided over the firm's acquisition of Knight Ridder (as well as a 90% stock decline) gets a whopping 450,000 RSUs.

Why shouldn't he? The newspaper biz is BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 10:48 AM by Gene

Oh dear, BARRY FROM DC!!!!! and his sidekick the Chief Social Engineer are pushing back Gitmo's closing still further. What will all those horribly neglected martyrs do?

(Via Huff 'n' Puff)

Posted 10:34 AM by Gene

MICHAEL!!!!! says the same thing I said two days ago, in far more words (444 vs. 89 -- who's the better writer? MICHAEL!!!!!), but I don't command an audience of millions, a staff of hundreds of interns, or RUPERT!!!!!

Posted 8:44 AM by Gene

This list of best-selling authors (UK only?) proves literature's irrelevance, the genre hack fictionists for producing the print equivalent of two aspirin and whose works will soon enter a deep painless slumber, the few "literary" fictionists for writing stuff they almost take pride that people won't read.

(Via the usual AHTSJournal)

Posted 8:32 AM by Gene

The same church that is beatifying The Largely Silent Pope has found the time to praise the Zillionaire Doughnut Eater's creation for being respectful. I suggest there is a connection somewhere.

Posted 8:29 AM by Gene

Jennifer indirectly gets back at Quin for being "dopey". One-party statehood does have its limits, but so do most of our senators.

Posted 6:53 PM by Gene

Why BARRY FROM DC!!!!! will never improve: his middle name is PREEN.

Posted 6:47 PM by Gene

TheAtlantic.com proves useful today rather than cute: First Ben Heileman says health-care inflation will survive "reform"; second Wendy Kaminer says the British Index on Censorship is practicing censorship regarding you-know-what cartoons. Could we have this more often, please?

Posted 6:24 PM by Gene

Osama bin Laden came within minutes of killing Bill Clinton

No need to worry, Effete. They're just -- MILITANTS.

Posted 6:19 PM by Gene

British priest: Shoplifting by poor sometimes OK

...as long as they do it at large national chain stores, rather than small, family businesses.

Hey mullahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhs!!!!!

Posted 6:09 PM by Gene

If even one of the -- militants we've released so His Omnipotence (aka BARRY FROM DC!!!!!) can hug himself for his righteousness commits a terrorist act, and especially a terrorist act against an American, Attorney General and Chief Social Engineer Effete Q. Snob should resign -- or better still, be impeached.

Posted 5:53 PM by Gene

These idiotic press releases serve not only as a reminder that news hacks haven't even begun to use their flattery reserves, but also as a combined thumb in the eye to follow the thumb in the other eye of newspaper stock gains. The industry cannot be contradicted.

Hey PVT. ZELL! Take your company PUBLIC! The writing's bad enough!

Alan Mutter warns that we shouldn't get too excited, writing: "If unbridled cost cutting and raw optimism are enough to save newspapers, they will be just fine. If it takes more than chopping expenses and praying for the economy to rebound – which seems to be the prevailing industry strategy – then, unfortunately, we haven't seen the last newspaper close."

Please, your highnesses of newsprint, close more papers!

(Art link here. Cute -- although I'm not sure I'd want to play it.)

Posted 4:58 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



A Hershey's Kiss with heartburn?

Where's the doohickey on top?

Posted 3:44 PM by Gene

Give yourselves a hand, Congresspoops:

Congress Lets 50 Tax Breaks Expire

Or more like three fingers.

Most of the fading-out-50 can, and likely will, be reauthorized retroactively, creating an inconvenience for some taxpayers, but not the same sort of mess as Congress' failure to resolve the future of the estate tax. The estate tax will expire at the close of Dec. 31 and Democrats are pledging to resurrect it retroactively, leading to all sorts of potential legal problems, as well as some planning opportunities for wealthy families.

Ka-CHINNNNNNNNNNG!!!!! Can we peons pay as usual?

Posted 2:35 PM by Gene

Another demonstration of football as rocket science.

Posted 11:28 AM by Gene

Exclusive: Rep. Parker Griffith switches to GOP

That's okay -- we'll bribe a half-dozen Blue Dogs, and then....

P. S. He voted against anyway.

(Via HENRY HONEST)

Posted 8:53 AM by Gene

Economic Growth at 2.2%; Well Below Original Projections

DOW 20,000! S&P 2,000!!!!! NASDAQ 5,000!!!!!

Posted 8:46 AM by Gene

Yelp rejects $500 million Google bid

This is stupid. G000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE is today's BUGMEISTERS. You'll never get this chance to make easy money doing nothing again; worse, you've made a potential enemy.

Posted 8:45 AM by Gene

New York Ranks in Last Place in Happiness Rating

Count US happy!

Posted 8:37 AM by Gene

Really JonBoy, this is so tiresome: The former PEOPLE WARNER flagship has its Poop of the Year; you respond with "interviews". You say potayto, I say potahto. You're both still saying the same thing, and you think the pronunciation will make it different. Let's call BOTH of you off.

Posted 8:20 AM by Gene

China has issued new Internet regulations, including what appears to be an effort to create a "whitelist" of approved websites that could potentially place much of the Internet off-limits to Chinese readers.

The boys in Silicon Valley say:



Although it's posible they've trained them so well they don't need the help.

(Via the Bloomy)

Posted 8:32 PM by Gene

We salute Mike Giannattasio for his uncanny ability to get his picture taken with a celebrity -- but the first thing we thought seeing this was we didn't recognize any of the celebrities! Are we ignorant? Or are celebrities not what they used to be?

Posted 6:36 PM by Gene

TRANSLATION: His Omnipotence intends to treat drug abuse with a wink and a nod -- as little enforcement as possible, and as much nonjudgmental treatment as possible. FURTHER TRANSLATION: The same outcome as the last few decades, only with a wink and a nod.

Posted 6:06 PM by Gene

And speaking of Congressional idiots who refuse to fade away:

Former House Speaker Dennis Hastert is getting more than $40,000 a month in taxpayer money while working as a lobbyist....

I have come to the conclusion that every last Congresspoop past and present is a spendthrift, and not a one of them thinks of how his generosity with our money will lead us all into poverty.

Posted 5:46 PM by Gene

ARCHDaily!



Let's see: We've already displayed a house made of Lego bricks. Now we have a designer log cabin made of what look like designer railroad ties. When does somebody design a building made of toothpicks?

We have neglected the great ARCH of late but we do intend to make snide remarks on some very recent masterpieces over the next few days. As Capt. Kirk said, "Promise!"

Posted 5:35 PM by Gene

I don't want to be crass and say "Brittany WHO"? but dammit if the hacks aren't going a little off their rockers on this one. I'd never even heard of this ac-TOR before. I'm not sure what the cataclysm is. I could understand if she were a great beauty, or an astounding thespian. I could understand if she were the second coming of Judy Garland. I cannot understand why the hacks to the last want to inflict another boring story on me. Let the young lady rest in peace.

Posted 5:33 PM by Gene

Quite clearly Michael envies Huff 'n' Puff. Why should he when this one man can do the work of thousands?

Posted 5:29 PM by Gene

Meantime, over at The Business Sandbox, the playpen's full of three-year-olds accusing SLIME's favorite fantasy maker (for now) of being anti-American. And how American is SLIME?

Posted 5:26 PM by Gene

Quin is MAD because Mitch won't take on the DEMOCRAT PARTY. We answer that Mitch's chief goal in life seems to be to rid America of any vestiges of campaign finance reform, and every time he tries MB2 oohs and aahs over him, so naturally he wouldn't be interested in "picking off" Democrats. To accuse a Republican of incompetence is rather like accusing a Democrat of thinking.

Posted 9:50 AM by Gene

We have an idea: Put Seinfeld on at 10 and Jut-Jaw back at 11:30!

Bold, invigorating CONCAST thinking -- and I don't even have cable!

Posted 9:46 AM by Gene

Anybody for one slightly used Auschwitz sign on eBay?

PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!

Posted 9:03 AM by Gene

There must be a good name for the tale of TGSM's yachting trip.

How about Ship of Fools?

Posted 8:59 AM by Gene

"The richest people made the most mistakes with the least accountability."

You said it, Very Littler Jeffy!

Posted 8:32 AM by Gene

Neb.'s Nelson sees backlash on health reform plan

Profiles in courage never come easy.

Posted 5:52 PM by Gene

Tony Blair insists: It's not true nobody likes me

I like me!

I think.

And if I don't like me my money does.

P. S. The latest posting wizardry from the Wizards of Mountain View:



He's well dressed enough.

Posted 5:19 PM by Gene

Polanski finishing film under house arrest

We have a better idea, Roman -- make a movie of your house arrest!

And get THE WHINERS to distribute it!

Posted 4:12 PM by Gene

A definition of happiness: A two-year-old on a snowy day.

Posted 2:57 PM by Gene

Any year that's "difficult" for the hardbound scribblers is a very good year in my -- book.

(Via the usual AHTSJournal, which is taking the news quite hard. Cheer up -- there are lots worse writers where these came from!)

Posted 2:40 PM by Gene

As expected, Old Rot-Gut Reek's employer Citadel filed for a well-deserved bankruptcy.

Which goes first: hundreds of employees, a chunk of the debt-holders' net worth -- or ROT-GUT?

ROT-GUT will NEVER go.

Posted 11:58 AM by Gene

Since most likely StinkyInky.com won't run my comment, at least I can run it in my blog, complete with added links, on -- guess who:

We all daydream; some of us daydream more than others. But I'm not sure Steven X-Rea's kind of daydreaming has a place in a newspaper, especially one in bankruptcy. I just came off a 1,400-plus-word advertisement in USA Today for another movie, one whose controversial MPAA rating the rag's publicist deemed fit not to mention for obvious reasons, so I'm a little annoyed. And yes, not too long ago your particular MadAve type bylined himself with a middle initial X, the thought of which would be highly amusing but for his persistent ad copywriting. Truly Penelope's very drool provoking in her Victoria's Secret attire -- and more than one of the many critics damning this masterwork (current Rotten Tomatoes score: 49) likened it to a Victoria's Secret show, only a little less classy. But some press agents make very good salaries daydreaming, being friends of the stars and enemies of their readers. In the words of Frank Capra, it's a wonderful life being a PR man.

Say Mr. Tierney, how much has your pale imitation of a newspaper run on health-care reform? Or Afghanistan? That minor nuisance called the SEPTA strike came rather suddenly on you, dontcha think? Any word on what's happened to our mayor? (Well, you did a good job on Camden, but that was an accident.) Ah, but we have run 8 million pages on the Phitin' Phils, and 10 million pages on the Iggles, and we already have the hundred special sections set up for the Super Bowl -- heck, for the next World Series! -- and there's always a place for obsequious scribblers like Mr. X-Rea. Keep up the good work, Brian...and with luck there'll be no work left for anybody!

Had to do it again, even if it brings more PR0N hits.

Posted 9:50 AM by Gene

TRANSLATION: This is the first I've ever written on Tiger Woods. What's "golf" anyway? Is it something like cricket, or more like soccer?