Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

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Monday, January 20, 2003

Posted 9:50 PM by Gene

The publicist Liz Smith reports there's a problem on the set of The Alamo: It seems the casting coordinator needs 6,000 men for his Mexican army, but thus far has collected only 500 because "[a] lot of guys who come out to work for us are simply huge....We tell them to lay off the Whoppers and french fries, but it's a problem" -- all this despite going "to the Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, the Texas Work Force Commission and Spanish TV and radio," says The Liz. "They took ads in Spanish newspapers and hawked Spanish festivals searching for a few good thin men. Extras of this type don't make any real money until filming begins, and then, they get $100 a day but must be on call for 15 hours, day and night."

I've got a suggestion: Why not just use computer-generated imaging and create 6,000 skinny Hispanics? It's cheaper and you're going to do it anyway. And you don't have to worry about Whoppers -- off the screen, that is.

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