Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Wednesday, January 29, 2003

Posted 1:35 PM by Gene

What purpose do news hacks serve in reporting stories like this? We've been getting an awful lot of private tragedies lately from this scum. Every column inch devoted to needlessly upsetting readers is one column inch less for stories on Iraq, or the economy, or other important news. And we know that news hacks are cold and clinical about such horrors in the same way ER doctors are cold and clinical about stab wounds. "Well," news hacks might respond, "the poor girl's family deserves an outpoutring of sympathy." First off, why are you forcing me to be a party to somebody's deep sorrow for no good reason, and second, haven't you heard Dr. Johnson's maxim that "grief is a species of idleness"? We don't need these stories. If you must report them at all please bury them in the news-summary column of the Metro section. NO MORE SUCH STORIES!

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