Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Monday, February 24, 2003

    Posted 1:36 PM by Gene

    Our latest definition of "idiot." Hey guy, you may think posing like Marilyn's sexy -- especially with that beer belly, hubba hubba! But I doubt one of those hot eighteen-year-olds is going to want to nuzzle it -- unless he's really starved for affection.

    I think what The Smoking Gun censored was a sign reading, "I'm with Stupid."

    I now see the idiot was -- er, exposed by one Stephen T. Brady of Roman Catholic Faithful, who sent out a letter to this dimbulb's bosses just last Wednesday.

    It occurs to me, he really is posing like Marilyn. Marilyn Manson.

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