Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Wednesday, February 19, 2003

    Posted 12:51 AM by Gene

    The screaming meemies of LALA's city council spent two tumultuous, fruitless hours debating Iraq, and will do it again on Friday. Why do the mu-ni-CIP-al saps of so many cities waste so much time on their damfool symbolism about the half-million, or million, or ten million, or umpteen gazillion Iraqi kids "we've" killed when their constituents are dying on their streets for lack of police protection? Don't these clowns have better things to do? No wonder the San Fernandans wanted secession.

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