Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

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    Sunday, March 09, 2003

    Posted 8:56 PM by Gene

    Golf's in an uproar because Scott Hoch, worried he might not win another tournament at 47, refused to continue with a playoff in the dark, and drunken fans booed him. There are three solutions: glow-in-the-dark balls (if we want to standardize the balls, start here), lights (they use them in Tom Thumb courses), or not scheduling events on the east coast to end an hour before sunset. Think we could look into this?

    I don't see why the fans should boo, either. It was a non-Tiger tournament and therefore doesn't count.

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