THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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In Little Rock, home of the airhead Lorelei Lee -- and the president who wouldn't shut up;
In the Gaza Strip, backing a loser again;
A hag in Frisco;
President Sheen breaking wind in Frisco (Jeanette MacDonald may have to return from the dead to do that justice);
A few more protests like this one in Toulouse (accent on louse) and who knows? We may declare war on France;
A few in Bucharest (the sign, the caption says, reads "Stop the Zionist Nazis") yearn for the old days -- of Ceausescu;
An idiot rallies in Beirut (more Arabs 4 Losers);
More vermin (that's the Palestinian flag, the caption says) in TouLOUSE;
This Saddam supporter in Baghdad shows the advantages of not brushing your teeth (ewwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!);
In Seoul, these lunkheads want "Pizza, not Bomb" [sic], and hold a Pizza Hut box. Obviously they don't know Pizza Hut. (Sorry.)
![In Seoul, these lunkheads want "Pizza, not Bomb" [sic], and hold a Pizza Hut box. Obviously they don't know Pizza Hut. (Sorry.)](http://us.news2.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/ap/20030315/capt.1047736414.south_korea_antiwar_iraq_xvy107.jpg){kind=link}
The usual tired old Nazi symbolism in Tokyo;
More mental diarrhea in Tokyo;
And I could go on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on, but the links will expire anyway, and besides they give these signs a good airing every week, and you know the message.