Eugene David<br>...The One-Minute Pundit

Posted 2:00 PM by Gene

Here's the e-mail I sent to P&G, a lot of good it'll do:

Re your cancellation of an ad on Michael Savage's MSNBC program, and your moratorium on advertising following the start of hostilities in Iraq:

(On the Savage cancellation [stupid me should have added these words]), if companies like yours adhered to a strict policy of never advertising on talk shows or other political TV programs, I wouldn't object. What troubles me is that it looks as though you caved for PC reasons. Perhaps the cancellation was only a coincidence, but I doubt it, as the only times you clowns cancel advertising is after complaints from PC special interest groups, and very bad news. Which brings me to your Iraq moratorium. I can understand that you don't want cheery toothpaste ads amidst bloodshed; but during WWII America's advertisers at least filled magazines with patriotic corporate ads. Your refusal to advertise period after hostilities begin smacks of a "statement."

Let me cut to the chase: I have no faith in your company to do right. To this day I think you morons have taken a kind of perverse pride in having been criticized by John Leo for sponsoring Jenny Jones; but I was more than angered when I learned you idiots were financing Hezbollah TV. And when I did complain about it an e-mail, one of your servers responded that the reason you withdrew from Hezbollah was NOT that it was morally repugnant to sponsor a TV channel run by a terrorist organization, probably in violation of U. S. law, but because "you found other outlets"! The Hezbollah outrage proves that consumer-products firms will sponsor ANYTHING and EVERYTHING, no matter how repulsive (politically-incorrect programming and anything following very bad news excepted). And the worst thing is, IT'S OUR MONEY.

Were it not for the CRETINS, the FRAUDS, the CYNICS in your advertising and marketing departments, I'd have the highest respect for P&G. You put out consistently high-quality products in every category you compete in. The problem is their quality is more than overshadowed by your obsessive need to advertise. If I ran your company I'd stop all TV advertising immediately. Not only do I suspect it wouldn't hurt sales, it might actually HELP them because consumers would believe a big impersonal firm is finally respecting their intelligence. But no, you must finance sex, you must finance violence, you must finance sleaze, you must advertise advertise advertise until hell freezes over. WHY?

I hope some human being will answer my missive, in a manner not too disrespectful of my intelligence. You have a lot to answer for.

I know this missive may seem a bit too angry, but a company that has advertised blithely on Hezbollah TV does have a lot to answer for.

P. S. After send this I realized I made four errors I didn't spot because their e-mail function forces you to type type type, and it has a teeny-tiny window you can't expand; oh well, they get worse from the bozos who still think P&G promotes satanism.

P. P. S. Do I come across as a mere idiot, or as a blithering babbling bumbling blubbering idiot? Don't tell me. Eh, you can't anyway.