Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Thursday, March 20, 2003

Posted 9:13 AM by Gene

If we are to protect the rights of celebrities to pontificate on a world stage on subjects of which they know between nada and nil, if actresses are to continue proving through their choice of evening clothes that their profession was once a cousin of prostitution, if movie-ad-blurb copywriters are to continue to have a platform for their best and most impassioned adjectives of toadying, if corporate America's most pompous CEOs are to have a good round of humiliating subordinates, for the sake of wasting money as only corporate America can, for all that's just and right, "SHELVE THE OSCARS®"!!!!!

Some of the pontificators may be listening.

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