Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Tuesday, March 11, 2003

Posted 5:57 PM by Gene

Lowsy Mays says, "Here at Cheap Chaynnel we know people luuuuuuuhve ayour vaypeed six-sahong playleists aynd ayour twenta-meinute commercial breaks!" And how do you know, Lousy? "We relah ohn Arbitrohn!" Just one problem: Arbitron relies on horse-and-buggy diaries to collect its numbers, and people don't seem to want to fill them out any more. The bad thing for those of us who luuuuuuuhve Cheap Channel is, this unwillingess may be a reason various surveys state radio listenership is down. Then again, maybe fewer people want to fill out the diaries because fewer people want to listen to the radio. Thanks again, Lowsy, for your enduring contributions to Corporate America!

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