Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Sunday, April 27, 2003

Posted 7:25 AM by Gene

In the golden age of pounding the table (QUALCOMM AT $10,000 A SHARE!!!!!!!!!!!), news hacks always spoke of cable companies in terms of market cap per subscriber, cash flow per subscriber, blahblahblahblah, and nothing about their notorious service. This no doubt confirmed in the minds of the Robertses, the Rigases, the Armstrongs, the Dolans, the Malones, etc., etc., etc., that cable TV's only business is producing numbers. WELL, Mayor Daley of Chicago signed an ordinance, and one of Concast's [sic] every four Windy City customers is getting a government-mandated rebate for poor service. Knowing news hacks, it won't be long before we're back to market cap per subscriber, cash flow per subscriber, etc., ETC.

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