Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Saturday, April 19, 2003

Posted 6:00 PM by Gene

In theory, women's skirts and pants with a very low waistline (or in the words of C. David Heymann, Liz Taylor's biographer, garments that begin just above the "dorsal-cleavage" zone) should be a visual feast for sex-starved men like me. Surely if a woman like, say, Lillian Russell in her prime (the 19th-century sex symbol whom Mark Twain said he'd prefer "sleeping with stark naked" over "U. S. Grant in full-dress uniform"), accoutred this way she'd form a train without a caboose. Unfortunately too many women wish to prove that in their accessories women are men with high heels. And a woman's behind is no fun without curves.

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