THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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"Sen. Kerry, we don't want Dean Lite, either."
But it is less filling.
"The one thing this country doesn't need is a second Republican Party."
No, but we could use a second Green Party.
"What we need in this party is not just people who talk about backbone, but people who have it."
The last I heard jellyfish didn't make it that far up the evolutionary chain.
"When I was in the Gulf of Tonkin in 1968, I learned what it was to work with an aircraft carrier for real."
Unfortunately, the noise from all those fighters forced me to wear a hair helmet to protect my ears, but it worked so well I've worn it to this day.
"[M]y goal to restore the 2.7 million jobs lost during the Bush administration within my first 500 days in the White House."
And all of them will be in the Federal government! (That was a Do line. He didn't deliver it. I think I know why.)