Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Saturday, June 21, 2003

Posted 2:54 PM by Gene

A follow-up to the LALA Times and horse manure: Years ago Smithsonian ran a story on the endless and endlessly fascinating subterranean caverns of New York, miles and miles of crawlspaces and walkways and abandoned subway stops and old train tunnels. It followed a man -- I forgot what he did; I think he worked for Con Edison or a city agency -- who came by one spot in the depths, took a sniff, and said, "Elephants." He was under the site of the long-demolished Hippodrome Theater, whose last show (in 1935) was the famed Rodgers-and-Hart circus spectacular Jumbo, with Jimmy Durante, "The Most Beautiful Girl in the World," and elephants. I can thus say with absolute certainty that the LALA Times's smell of horse manure will survive anyone alive today -- and possibly even the LALA Times itself.

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