THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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What's good for AOL...or should we be dusting off Tom Lehrer's old song, "Who's Next"? Huh, ADVERTISEMENT?
Thankfully, an very wan echo of ADVERTISEMENT comes to AOL's rescue. Repeat after me: TWEN-ty MIL-lion PEO-ple WATCHED the MO-vie with-OUT e-VENT...which means we can excuse the nascent psychos.
This is JUST like the people who eructate, "You can turn the TV off." Yes, BUT WHO CAN TURN TV OFF?
This also demonstrates that the covert plagiarism of the conventional wisdom is worse than overt plagiarism, news hacks to the contrary.