THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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The Rodin's Thinker of Comedy should ponder this as he faces the abyss: Will anyone remember him? Johnny Carson was one of the greatest monologuists, one of TV's brightest lights, but who recalls his punchlines? Heck Will Rogers, the first great mass-media joke teller, a leading movie star and newspaper columnist, a man seriously suggested for the White House in 1932, who even spoke at that year's Democratic convention in an Ah-NULT moment, doesn't jog most peoples' memories. Huck Finn will live. Not last night's Top-10 joke.