THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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1) They have love handles, or what ad copywriters used to call "lardosis", plus their bellies tend to quiver when they walk, not exactly the height of femininity;
2) Some wear tattoos, almost always a blotchy blue, which sometimes too proudly suggest that they extend to the private parts; and
3) To paraphrase the immortal Oscar Hammerstein II, many of the midriff barers are broad where a broad should be narrow, and they're narrow where a broad should be broad.
Or to paraphrase another great lyricist, Johnny Mercer, women's clothes used to accen-chu-ate the positive. Now they elim-I-nate it. That's what you get for messin' with Ms. In-Between.
Fortunately summer is ending, and now we can see more women in ugly dirty-looking jeans.