Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Saturday, August 30, 2003

Posted 4:03 PM by Gene

I see from the latest exercise in business puffery called Barron's that one of LEGENDARY WELCH's pupils is "thriving" at 3M. How do they know? Well, he gave it a dose of Six Sigma, fired people, lots of people, changed the corporate name from Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing (somewhat obsolete and long-winded, I'll admit) to yell, I RUN THIS COMPANY!!!!!, and ran up the stock. Only the sales -- er analysts think it's run up too much. Unfortunately, with Barron's, when it predicts A, what usually happens is 3M to Z.

Oh Little Jeffrey! There's something wrong with your Six Sigma page. Think we should fire some people?

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