Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Sunday, August 10, 2003

Posted 12:54 PM by Gene

I wish I knew why the Professor and his coproductions are so excited about Ah-NULT, much as many Freepers used to get their juices flowing over Jim "Ferret Hair and Sewer-Rat Ethics" Traficant. Part of it is surely his celebrity; the rush of adrenalin from 100 million hits every ten minutes can give you a sense of camaraderie; part of it must be he's a liberal Democrat registered Republican, quite appealing to that subspecies of political lizard called the libertarian (with whom the Professor belongs, though he knows the word has a ring to it, so he calls himself "anti-Idiotarian," which I don't think will ever grace any self-respecting party); part of it is definitely the idea of influencing an election. The problem is, we've had enough practical jokes in politics lately, of which this is but the latest, and often the punchline is for the practical joke to leave office in disgrace.

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