Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

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Monday, August 18, 2003

Posted 6:26 AM by Gene

REUTERS IS MAD. It wants an INQUIRY into the ASSASSINATION of its AWARD-WINNING CAMERAMAN. Of course, Reuters can get mad in other ways too: by doubling the number of QUAGMIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! stories, by doubling the number of stories about our war dead, by doubling the number of stories on our incompetence, by doubling the number of prayers that our soldiers die in combat, and by just being the general useless pain where the sun don't shine that only NEWS HACKS can be.

One other thing. What would make Reuters madder: If a cameraman died at the hands of the Palestinians, or if he died at the hands of the Israelis? I don't mean to sound uncaring for the cameraman or his family, but these are, I repeat, NEWS HACKS, and as Ernie Pyle teaches us, they've died in military conflicts before.

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