Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

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Friday, September 19, 2003

Posted 6:37 AM by Gene

That Woodster the Perv still makes movies is a classic example of how JACK's biz refuses to listen to its customers. Perv's audience has always been limited to Times subscribers, and most of them aren't going; his films routinely gross in the low five digits. Even one of the Perv's defenders had to admit his super-sex life has cost him some fans. People like A. O. with B. O. routinely ignore that Perv plays the romantic lead despite a face only a space alien could love. What's more, I always have the low-level suspicion (not wanting to see his masterpieces) that his films, for all the Perv's alleged wit, AREN'T FUNNY. How could they be with the characters constantly talking religious philosophy and Satchmo? But the Perv's continued productivity owes to people in the biz thinking him a "GENIUS" -- and big credit for that goes to the NEWS HACKS, whose constant ad blurbs (until late -- even they got tired of his shtick) gave him the confidence to continue his all-too-long-running gag.

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