THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Just thinking of the mechanical "revival" of the Rat Pack, and that huge mechanical contraption playing at Radio City, should be perfect for somebody writing an ARTS column -- but then halfway down, THE GLIBERAL yet again turns his face beet red and his head three times normal thinking of a man who probably never had anything to do with them, except he's a Republican, as was Sammy, as was Tricky Dick -- in short, the EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL -- never mind.
GLIB! Call MR. MARK. You'd be the PERFECT columnist for BLUNDER. Forget it. You're the perfect columnist for the Times.