THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
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Who'll clean up the mess in the upcoming Cat in the Hat movie? P&G won't be in the film, but the entire P&G home care products unit will spend up to $30 million to tie in to the film with TV ads featuring the Cat in the Hat using Mr. Clean cleanser, Swiffer mops, Febreze deodorizer, Dawn dish soap and Cascade dishwasher detergent.
Translation: P&G's paying millions to help produce the Cat through licensing deals. It's IN THE FILM.
AND:
P&G recently added a "fair trade" line to its upscale Millstone brand — a program that aims to give coffee growers a living wage.
Translation: P&G is P&C. THIS is PRECISELY why LOWSY MAYS made nice on Dixie Chicks and the troop rallies. P&G is one of CHEAP CHANNEL'S BIGGEST SUPPORTERS.
Here's another company with GREAT PRODUCTS AND AN ADVERTISING-CREATED LOUSY REPUTATION.
P. S. "HIP" appears in this press release twice.