Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

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Wednesday, November 19, 2003

Posted 6:00 PM by Gene

The cute little pink paper that gave us Candace "EW! YUCK!! GROSS!!!" Bushnell and that has been losing millions for years with media insider baseball few people read, The New York Observer, obviously needed to fill up some of that pink this week, so it let its hacks go on a tangent about the little hotel heiress and The Midriff, quoting Camille Paglia (oiii!!!) and a pile of scum named Flynt (oiiii!!!!!), while the great rock-music blurbist and Hitler expert and deep philosopher Ron Rosenbaum goes on and on and on about Tom Wolfe and Norman Mailer and the Federalist Papers and Laci Peterson until he's forgotten what the heck he's written about. (Maybe he's auditioning for Lew "Where Am I?" Lapham's job at Harper's.) Both stories are headed "Fools for Scandal." In this case, we're talking the writers.

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