Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Friday, November 14, 2003

Posted 6:46 AM by Gene

The good news is, JACK'S LEAVING!!!!!!!!!!!! The bad news is, he'll still be cooking his @#$%^& SOUP, plus SLIMEBALL GUMBO can't take over for a year because of fig-leaf rules against lobbying -- so JACK will remain effectively IN CHARGE. The interesting news is that JACK'S CONSPIRACY interviewed THE POWERFUL CHAIRMAN OF THE HOUSE RULES COMMITTEE, which suggests he'd like to date something stronger than Bo Derek. (Watch out for him; with his ultra-slick style he could be more dangerous than JACK.)

Does this mean JACK gets an honorary -- OSCAR®?!?!? Maybe he can get the one Bugs Bunny got.

And as a farewell gift The Hollywood Reporter bequeaths him an airball interview that reminds us that rag's had ethics problems.

P. S. It's a measure of how little people understand the entertainment industry, for all the puff pieces and rave reviews and insider baseball, that ArtsJournal.com blames something called "The Motion Picture Academy" for the @#$%^& SCREENER ban. If that's what JACK'S soapbox is called either it hands out easy A's or it should be shut down by the authorities.

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