Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Friday, November 14, 2003

Posted 10:45 AM by Gene

A GREAT DAY AT THE WASHINGTON POST: Today's op-ed section is a symphony of news-hack noodling, which they play with their feet on the desk and their brains in a cramp. Just as George Will broke the Buttman Institute's wind that no amount of sleazy money is too much to spend on campaigns, well, if his fellow multi-zillionaire E. J. doesn't break his wind one better, declaiming that President DAMN! is another Goldwater whose ignominious defeat (you sure?) presages his ultimate VICTORY in the ULTRA-LIBERALIZATION of America. To top it off, Charles Krauthammer's sense goes on vacation as he turns ad-blurb copywriter for what must be another CONSERVATIVE movie, and Little Whiny Richard decides he likes Pvt. Lynch because she TOLD OFF DUBYA. Can't you bozos do your daydreaming on some other cloud?

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