Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Thursday, November 13, 2003

Posted 8:22 AM by Gene

I suppose one could be USA Okay about it and say this young slut has chosen an excellent way to start her show-biz career. One could also say there's been a screw loose in the Hiltons for some time; Nick Hilton spent his first wedded night with Liz Taylor getting drunk. One could also say (as does Buzz TWXster's confidante Howard) that she needs acting school and besides, she has a flat rump (and everything else which goes without saying). One could also say this very little girl needs a shrink, but that would be judgmental, and hinder our young hero (never heroine; mustn't be sexist) from getting rewarded in column-inches.

This story is well on its way to being unendurable and inescapable. I hope her fifteen minutes are up.

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