Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Sunday, November 16, 2003

    Posted 8:14 AM by Gene

    I wish I knew why hacks like the "LEGENDARY" Ben Bradlee are having an orgy of nostalgia over you-know-what day. You'd think to them it would be their happiest day -- after that, news hacks RULED THE WORLD! You STOPPED A WAR AND DITCH A PREZ! You were the embodiment of GOOD and all your enemies were EVIL! You proved we couldn't live without you -- and anyone who tried would be subject to INTERNAL EXILE! People made movies of you -- in which you were the HEROES -- that won ACADEMY AWARDS®!!!!! Perhaps the closest we can come to an understanding is that the hacks believe the day wrecked America, which was a good thing. That and JFK was a Democrat, and they were -- objective. The jerks will obsess on the 200th anniversary.

    And then came JANET COOKE. OR:

    Arlington, Va.: Has Washingtonpost.com ever thought about running a retrospective of the Janet Cooke debacle next to The Post and Watergate feature?

    Ben Bradlee: Not to my knowledge. That is an idea whose time has not come.     [THIS IN 1997.]

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