THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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Good thing Dr. Seuss is no longer with us. He'd take out his "Bitsy, Big Boy Boomeroo'' and blow this whole mess "clear to Salamagoo.'' (See "The Butter Battle Book.'')
I'd wonder what he'd do about all the co-producers -- like P&G, Kellogg, Hershey...and about Bob Wright and "Zucks" Zucker and whoever runs the Universal butt-end.
God, I wish I could write doggerel.
P. S. Stay tuned for an angry letter to Hershey's chairman. I own a few shares in it.