Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Sunday, November 02, 2003

Posted 8:03 AM by Gene

That MR. MARK must put a non-starter like this on BLUNDER's cover underscores the daily battle he has trying to find material for (to paraphrase something Henry Luce once wrote) the last and dumbest of his 3,000,000 subscribers. MR. MARK KNOWS that SHOW-BIZ SELLS, and it must pain him that, for all the GENIUS of our time, there just isn't enough of it; and superior though we are to our readers, you just can't keep on yelling QUAGMIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! until they scream in pain (or cancel their subscriptions, an unlikely thing as most newsweeklies are read by coffee tables and magazine racks). So in these interregna we must turn to topics like God and health, which inevitably makes MR. MARK wince, as well he should, for "SERVICE" FEATURES are a big reason most magazines are so DEADLY DULL.

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