Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

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Tuesday, December 23, 2003

Posted 11:39 AM by Gene

Here's a press release about a kid who wrote a fantasy book and got a lucky break when a VERY BIG NEWS HACK AND NOVELIST (he who helped Demi Moore develop bionic breasts) visited the neighborhood and his son said WOW THIS BOOK IS GREAT and now it's sold a zillion copies and first editions go for $10,000,000 on eBay. I guess I'm angry because I've not sold my book, and never will; I'm also angry because so much in the book biz depends on the lucky break, not on merit; and despite such wonders book sales are down for a reason, and they won't recover through hopeless gimmicks like more slut-lit or mommy-lit or Oprah-lit or navel-staring highbrow lit or $500 cookbook-lit or C.G.I. Tolkien Dungeons and Dragons fantasy-lit, and with every new such gimmick, the prospects for books of enduring excellence -- the Huck Finns and Great Gatsbys -- and for our culture not to die on remainder shelves and in flea markets, grow that much dimmer.

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