Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

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Thursday, January 01, 2004

Posted 2:19 PM by Gene

Here's why when people think of Philadelphia, if they ever think of Philadelphia, they conjure a fifth-rate ghetto populated by Frank Rizzos gorging themselves on cheesesteaks and Tastykakes: I've been trying to watch the Mummers Parade -- you know, the fat drunks with the parasols and the sequins, who play "Oh Dem Golden Slippers" in the string bands -- and I've given up. The "parade" consists of people standing around waiting for a signal to march, and there's a LOT of standing around; I'd rather be a panhandler. It starts at dawn and it ends at 9 p.m., the people still standing. Given that such logistical nightmares as the Tournament of Roses Parade and Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade run like clockwork in around three to four hours, there's no excuse for this. But that's Philly, the City with Attitude.

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