Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

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Sunday, January 18, 2004

Posted 5:20 PM by Gene

An unshakable rule of modern retailing: a chain store's ability to keep sale items in stock and the friendliness of its employees are in inverse proportion to the volume and aggressiveness of its foreground Muzak®.

I'd love to pose a question to the CEOs of CVS, Mickey D's, etc., etc., the whole misbegotten lot: What's your least favorite kind of music -- music that would have you climbing the walls and screaming in pain? And after listening to the answers I'd ask, well, why do you inflict such music on us?

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