Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Sunday, February 22, 2004

Posted 6:40 PM by Gene

Here is why serious fiction doesn't matter much these days: first off, who has the time for it? Second, enough people write for their navels. Third, when was the last time you could quote a memorable fiction line that wasn't embarrassing? Fourth, The New Yorker helped kill it with all its short stories about Walter Mittys (he started there) and dissolute families. Fifth (and this is hardly news), the people who write serious fiction simply don't want to write to entertain. Hard-core Christians and World War II buffs aside, who wants to spend a night curled up with a bottle of castor oil? Sixth, news hacks rave so much fiction you can't tell it apart anyway.

And since there's been a slight tiff these last few days about attributing links, I will confess I use ArtsJournal.com and IWant Media.com a lot. But then PROF uses Buzz T. Newhouse and Mr. Bleat a lot, and Buzz uses his dear friend HOWARD STERN a lot. (And worse, there are no links. Buzz! I'll say it again: Give that guy a blog!)

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