THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
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OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!! I'M SCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARED!!!!!
Count on Mortimer Zuck's hacks to put this in a bigger than normal font.
I'm not scared of terrorists; we'll take care of them. What bothers me is the International Movement for Appeasement and Slavery: the intellectual-industrial complex would sue for peace; the world foreign policy establishment would sue for peace; all of Western Europe would sue for peace; the international leftist movement would sue for peace. A big chunk of the world stands ready for appeasement and slavery. This year's $64,000 question is, is Dippity-Do!? I'm not crazy about Dubya's vacillation and secrecy mania; but would Dip take the easy road out and cry Uncle Sam? Or would he flex and muscles and do something awful to atone for his party's sins? Can we afford to find out?
And that bastion of rock-brained conservatism, Wall Street, which usually sends a stock soaring when the company's founder dies, did not exactly acquit itself with glory today.