THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
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Gliberal, you'd better see a doctor. This business of you imitating strokes in the mirror to get inspired is going to hurt you someday.
(And the sad thing is Gliberal vaguely senses the claptrap on both sides: knee-jerk conservatives aghast over breasts won't touch MEL's slasher film [or SOUTH...oiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii], and the STERNOS huff over MEL but scream about their hero being denied his FIRST-AMENDMENT RIGHTS. Hypocrisy and political tone-deafness know no bounds in this dispute; but because Gliberal is intent on making himself physically ill writing his columns, much as Orwell did writing 1984, he buries whatever's left of his common sense under a mountain of cracked pottery.)