Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

Front page



THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

Blogroll Me!

[Powered by Blogger]

Saturday, March 13, 2004

Posted 12:03 PM by Gene

It is to our great loss that we lack real wounding blowhards like Alexander Woollcott, men of piercing wit and scalding tongues who could not step foot in modern society without slaying hundreds of deserving victims and taking thousands of prisoners. I think of Woollcott because it seems every time I walk into my local gyp-joint, er, grocery, LOWSY MAYS OF TEX-ASS (I presume; I'm guessing he has a synergistic stranglehold on foreground muzak, though it's hard to judge) inflicts me with this one-hit airhead singing in her airheady tones some stupid airheady song, and I'm thinking Woollcott would have grabbed this airhead by the scruff of her skinny neck and thrown her off the observation deck of the Empire State Building. Such is musical GENIUS in our artistically-full-to-bursting age.

Home
Site Meter eXTReMe Tracker