Eugene David<br>...The One-Minute Pundit

Posted 5:03 PM by Gene

Another "teacher" to would-be news hacks sez, in another of the industry's tiresome efforts at IRONY:

Savvy news consumers are certain of two things:

• The press is biased. Most often we hear that the press has a liberal bias. Those who are dismayed by the gobbling up of news organizations by ever-larger conglomerates are convinced the press has a conservative bias.

Translation: Since the press is conservatively AND liberally biased, it cancels out. Sorry CHUMP, just because the Times and NewsMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! are both biased doesn't negate the overwhelming LIBERAL bias in your biz. GET IT? LIBERAL.

• The press's only concern is the bottom line. Editors therefore use two criteria to judge the newsworthiness of a story or photo: Will it sell papers? Will it make their advertisers happy?

How do I know THIS is actually TRUE: Simple: 1. GanNETt and SOB; 2. The "news"weeklies and People rag; 3. Real-estate sections; and 4. YOUR ENDLESS SHOW-BIZ PR.

As for the bottom line:

...[S]ince so little of the money being raked in by the media moguls trickles down to the newsroom, it is hard to fathom why journalists would devote themselves to making their employers rich.

Hey CHUMP, maybe the AVERAGE news hack doesn't rake in big bucks, but enough of you do -- Mr. BROKAW's GREAT-GREAT GRANDCHILDREN will not have to live in a ghetto -- as to make us scorn your objectivity, your writing, your devotion to the human race, and your SANITY.

Or to quote the worn-out line attributed to Shaw: "Those who can, do. Those who can't, TEACH."