THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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Man charged with fatally kicking dog like a football
SUMNER and his minions have made untold gazillions with "humor" like this, and I am angry at this total jerk -- and at SUMNER, who no doubt provided some of the hilarity that inspired this total JERK.
P. S. In a world without NEWS HACKS, this wouldn't be noticed, but I hear that "CAREFULLY TAUGHT" crowd about to drum it into our dear little ears for DAYS: the dog's owners were black. THE CRETIN WAS WHITE. THIS ISN'T ABOUT RACE, YOU SEVEN-DIGIT TYPING MANIACS, IT'S ABOUT CRUELTY TO ANIMALS.