Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Tuesday, April 06, 2004

Posted 5:41 PM by Gene

JOKE OF THE DAY: I got a PLEA from TWX Internet Service BEGGING ME to RETURN. Whom are they kidding? This marketing's so low-IQ it's off the bell curve. Switching back to AOL from DSL would be like abandoning a car for a horseless buggy (and I mean HORSEless), and I don't care if People is "solidly reported." (NEWS HACKS have said the same thing about USA OKAY, and it's true because most of the stories read like CEMENT BLOCKS.) And if I piggyback I'm wasting $15 a month on BLOATWARE that'll probably hiccup my connection. At least in the old days the outfit handed out reusable floppies; now it's CDs, ZILLIONS of CDs, which travel to mass graves in landfills and leach chemicals. PLUS mine came in a big wasteful BOX whose birth helped kill a few trees. NO THANK YOU, KING RICHARD, YOU GOT YOUR BONUS.

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