Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Thursday, April 22, 2004

Posted 8:20 AM by Gene

With every new paper flagellating itself in public the very showy exposing of scars gets harder and harder to believe. This self-flagellation must count as the phony-baloneyest thing to run in USA OKAY since Andy "Seller" Seiler's press releases for Showgirls. We peons must believe news hacks will come clean, but that would baffle an army of sandblasters. No, NEWS HACKS WILL NOT CHANGE because 1. Many make too much money; 2. They're out to "change the world" -- and big egos accompany their desire; 3. THE BIZ IS HOPELESSLY LIBERAL, and proud of it, and has devised strategems worthy of Foggy Bottom to deny it; 4. What's good for Time Warner is good for America; 5. It's easy to hide untruth in a paper: just write badly and quote "sources"; 6. The sheer MEGATONNAGE OF VERBIAGE prevents wholesale reform; it's like trying to desalinize an ocean. USA Okay's already put too much sodium chloride in our psychic wound.

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