THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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Maybe we wouldn't have gotten into this trouble, MICKEYMOUSE NIXON, if THE WORLD'S LEADING PRODUCER OF FAMILY ENTERTAINMENT weren't always so eager to flip the bird to the public -- and if we HADN'T HELPED FINANCE THE THING IN THE FIRST PLACE.
By the way, GREAT CHOICE OF WORDS IN THE HED. "For-BIIIIIIIIIIDuhduhduhduh!!!!!" Why didn't you say CENSORS while you were at it? THE PAPER OF RECORD could employ A MILLION PUBLIC EDITORS and THIS WOULD NOT STOP.