Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Thursday, May 20, 2004

    Posted 6:56 PM by Gene

    An answer to PROF's vandalism contest: I've come up with a couple of slogans for THE PAPER OF RECORD, PINCH. Seems to me you could use a few more friends in your audience. Here's one for starters:

    What's black and white and red all over?

    Not original -- but you can aim it at the Gen X crowd that doesn't read papers. I can do better, though. Let's try:

    The New York Times. For great minds that think alike.

    You DO have a pretty lofty demographic. How about:

    The New York Times. We think so you don't have to.

    And you KNOW how many people read your paper while traveling somewhere. So how about a picture of Osama and:

    When I'm on the run I read The Times!

    How about it, PINCH? You'd make a FORTUNE!

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