Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Sunday, May 09, 2004

Posted 9:43 AM by Gene

MORE good news from St. Warren! There's DISSENSION in the ranks! People don't quite think it yet -- but with the help of a few SOURCES it may become WIDESPREAD!!!!! WE'RE GOING TO LOSE THE WAR!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!

I love this kind of writing: "Like several other officers interviewed for this report, this general spoke only on the condition that his name not be used."

OR:

The paper's average Monday-through-Saturday circulation fell 3.2 percent in the period, however, and now stands at 732,700. Sunday circulation fell as well, down 2.6 percent to 1.025 million.

Think we can try for another -- three percent? Five percent? TEN PERCENT? GO FOR IT!!

And St. Warren's paper's profits were up, meaning ADVERTISERS blindly support NEWSPAPERS the way they do JUNK TELEVISION.

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