Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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    Monday, May 17, 2004

    Posted 12:00 PM by Gene

    REUTERS is AFRAID:

    Summer temperatures in the Arctic have risen at an INCREDIBLE!!!!! rate over the past three years and large patches of what should be ice are now open water, a British polar explorer said on Monday. [Overemphasis added.]

    Golly, by the end of the century the Arctic Ocean will be -- OPEN WATER! That REALLY concerns ME!

    A suggestion to the Reut: when you feel the willies coming over you, just think of the heroism of MILITANTS.

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