Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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    • THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
    I know more than you.
    I make lots more money than you.
    I'm smarter than you.
    I'm sexier than you.
    I appear on TV all the time.
    I work ten minutes a day.
    I rule the universe.
    I'm going to live forever.
    You are an idiot.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
    A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
    I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
    --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

    THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
    News isn't news when we don't report it.

    PERMALINKS:

    THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

    THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

    AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!

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    Tuesday, June 29, 2004

    Posted 6:45 AM by Gene

    This is the week every @#$%&* ad-blurb copywriter puts on the costume and does the high-holy hosannah for THE GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT IN FILM HISTORY, which leaves us wondering how the biz managed for over 100 years and gets us daydreaming of newspapers without AD-BLURB COPYWRITERS.

    What's more, in the fatuous, obfuscatory, sideways and thoroughly cute manner that is THE PAPER OF RECORD's, A. O. with B. O. intimates that THE GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT IN FILM HISTORY isn't so great because it's great, it's because the SURROUNDING MASTERPIECES are so BAD. But of course the LAST place to find straightforward writing is in THE PAPER OF RECORD.

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