Eugene David
...The One-Minute Pundit

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THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.

THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.

PERMALINKS:

THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY

THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY

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Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Posted 1:39 PM by Gene

In a gushing press release from THE BLOOMY!!!!! (misspelled word corrected) one of P. R. MIKE'S intrepid publicists boasts that "A GALLUP ORGANIZATION POLL CONDUCTED JULY 8-11 FOUND THAT 56 PERCENT OF AMERICAN ADULTS HAD SEEN OR PLANNED TO SEE THE MOVIE, EITHER IN THEATERS OR ON VIDEO"!!!!!!!!!! But even the publicist admits only "12 million" have seen it -- or more accurately, there've been 12 million TICKETS SOLD to it (knowing movie fans and Democrats there are surely LOTS of repeat customers). 56 percent of American adults comes to what, 120 million people? NOT LIKELY. But then anything's possible when you're covering an INFOMERCIAL and have nothing else to do, except misspell words.

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